There is no need to communicate verbally in our home now that we have Twitter

Is it just me or is this the longest Monday EVER

I need that medication with the side effects that make you gamble, steal & have sex for my restless leg syndrome STAT

I like to carry random items in my purse just in case someone asks me to play Let's Make a Deal

Around here you get your tweets stolen before you even get a chance to type them out

Don"t you hate when you almost miss your bus cause you're so busy sexting your husband

This morning I was given the following work instructions to start a project

Step 1: Don't start crying

This donut is stale, my hot chocolate is too hot ~ Me having a Goldilocks moment

A Werewolf in Washington is really bad, Dean Stockwell you should have bought all the copies from Walmart before I was subjected to one

Excellent I don't have to answer the phones this afternoon more time to tweet :P

Don't try to run I can keep up with you

Me: ...that was when I was young & full of spunk.

He: Young & full of spunk, that sounds like a porn title.

Me:

So just wonderin' how you get those rainbow corners for your avi?


By having sex with a gay avi or what?

A very good friend of mine told me something the other day & I believe it to be true, we're here for a good time not a long time

I'm a binge tweeter

Suppose I accidentally got my shit together.

Why steal tweets, RT them idiots, we are all one disfunctional family & know you aren't clever enough to come up with that yourself

St. Patty's day, the one day a year I hang out with my snake & raise a glass in honour of her ancestors, who were forced out of Ireland.

A friend of mine can't drive right now but really really wants cheese cake, does anyone know who will deliver me I mean her some #yeg

Got my mittens, they are on a string. Pretty sure I will still lose one.