I'm the best looking person here, like, um, by a lot.

LOVE ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! FAVORITE ME! RETWEET ME! #FF ME!
and send me dirty pics please.

@a1waysontherun @nottychrissy That is MY taco, ese! Step off!

I'd rather be blowing @bobsaget - has this catchphrase caught on yet?

My cat just got his head stuck in an empty kleenex box and freaked out. I didn't film it because it turns out I am not a terrible person

My Sharona is a great song to do chores to - especially if you only plan on doing chores for 3 min, 45 seconds

You'd think I'd have more followers given the size of my tits. #giantboobs

@iamjuddy u r such a dick. I love u.

LOVE ME! PAY ATTENTION TO ME! RETWEET ME! FAVORITE ME! and send me dirty pics.

I lost two followers after the kosher vag tweet. Good riddance anti-semites!

@cwinsten @nottychrissy I feel like we should start an exciting lez soap opera like narrative on twitter

@nottychrissy You are young enough to be my kid, but yer not cuz I aborted that baby.

If your girlfriend reads your Twitterfeed and gets upset, it's not going to work out.

@angryblacklady I wish rabid prolife people actually tried to help with babies and kids. and also cared about the death penalty.

Eat me.

@cool_jesse Well, then I'm the Willy Wonka of being a fucking asshole.

boobs

Who wants to be my twitter boyfriend? You can be gay, it doesn't matter.

@nottychrissy @officialkat turns straight women full on lesbo. It's a fact. In the library of congress.

Surrounded by her closeted gay entourage, Bachmann quits the race just as she began it.