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  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    I'm going to tell you about a Rat that came back to life, and I don't want to hear 'Act of God'.

    • 41
    • FAVS
    JamikawctzFinallyHeSleepsDanKCharnleyeshurneBobbyAnthemaKhalifa101TravLeBlancPsycholyst
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    SuggestibleDave
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    I'd rather poke the bear than a woman. The bear will only tear you to pieces and eat you.

    • 53
    • FAVS
    JulieWahooMaxine12339eshurneJoeyaucoinPeesInTheSinkmochabear93efasheefaaSumJ1
    • 9
    • RETWEETS
    xKittySoftPawzxgriffindocfavstar50anuragkhurana7RiotGRRLBarbieSuggestibleDaveDanDoofusSureshMKothari
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Apparently disdain for a particular person, place or thing is not always the correct retort, e.g., Fuck him/her, Fuck there, or...Fuck that!

    • 36
    • FAVS
    eshurneSmiilzesass_slingerBobbyAnthemaKhalifa101junejuly12NotThatKevinllvvzz
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Being a world class panty dropper isn't all that impressive if it's from missing when throwing them in the washer.

    • 44
    • FAVS
    eshurneSmiilzeBobbyAnthemBradNewsBearsjunejuly12NotThatKevinllvvzzTuna_Lover
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    SmiilzeVixxeVinoTica
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Yes, the lights are on, but don't worry about someone being home. Worry about which one of us will answer the door.

    • 83
    • FAVS
    eshurneVLPFriday13thMichisSecretBobbyAnthemcirclejokeskitzahphrenicBigBang6000AshanteChanice
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    VLPFriday13thSmiilzecas0maticgerhardrudolphkitzahphrenicdozier71TravLeBlancElleRex
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Always considered myself a compassionate, kind hearted person. For example, I've never buried anyone while they were still breathing.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    eshurneMichisSecretBobbyAnthemMischiefSassykitzahphrenicBigBang6000pokerbitch1carmilla_k_
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    MichisSecretgerhardrudolphkitzahphreniccarmilla_k_anna2ashesHades_SoulTravLeBlancfavstar50
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    The great thing about working with animals is being able to kill and eat the troublemakers. Wonder if that's how cannibalism got started?

    • 41
    • FAVS
    BobbyAnthemjunejuly12NotThatKevinTuna_LoverFlashShumwaymy_boy_joeyKimJongJeffCroweJam
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    iamBrettCollacoRayCKinneyLayDbibo
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    "It is what it is" How very deep and philosophical of you. You've changed my life with this incredibly profound thought. Asshole.

    • 49
    • FAVS
    BobbyAnthemjunejuly12NotThatKevinTuna_LoverFlashShumwaymlkefKimJongJeffCroweJam
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    BobbyAnthemmy_boy_joey77StephanieG77chapsmyanusdavidchedderpavlova3courtneytanishh
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Kiss it and make it better is best if you get to watch.

    • 30
    • FAVS
    BobbyAnthemjunejuly12NotThatKevinFlashShumwayTuna_LoverKimJongJeffCroweJamSCbchbum
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    sass_slingerThat1chk
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    I try not to judge anyone because I have a tendency to combine the whole judge/jury/executioner thing and I hate digging holes.

    • 69
    • FAVS
    BobbyAnthemTravLeBlancBoleyngirlystonedcoldlazyjunejuly12Tuna_LoverFlashShumwayKimJongJeff
    • 22
    • RETWEETS
    Boleyngirlyjunejuly12EffingtypicalChiliMedleyFinallyHeSleepsNoFlipFlopsfavstar50meaculpau27
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Your honor, I fired at something shuffling ominously behind the door. It could have easily been a zombie & not my ex wife playing solitaire.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    BobbyAnthemTuna_LoverKimJongJeffgmossiillvvzzmeaculpau27VinoTicaSuggestibleDave
    • 10
    • RETWEETS
    SmiilzeAustinCyrmy_boy_joeyShmontyTravLeBlancnate_decostemargolundySchnitzengigglz
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    MISTY. Someone DMed me and requested that I tweet Misty for them.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    heypekoeNatKingKoletonspazrunsnychristinawilderBobbyAnthemFlashShumwayKimJongJeffMmeNazty
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    spazrunsnyBobbyAnthemVinoTicaRickAaron
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Describing a Rorschach blot by taking 45 minutes to lay out an intricate pastoral scene in the Grampian Hills has the therapist frowning.

    • 45
    • FAVS
    SmiilzeBobbyAnthemKimJongJeffBulldog0613chapsmyanusMarcusOreallymy_boy_joeyPsycholyst
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    iyaelsoraiMmeNaztyVinoTica
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    You don't spit into the wind, you don't tug on Superman's cape and you don't turn your back on my ex. Explaining the scissors to the ER doc.

    • 68
    • FAVS
    VLPFriday13thBobbyAnthemKimJongJeffSmiilzeJCM444GentlePathanmelissatellitkimwilliamz
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    SmiilzeGentlePathannycedaze_Bulldog0613my_boy_joeymanthing11favstar50KaraWallis
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Witness? My ass! Fuckin' snitch! Cousin or not, toss that fuck in the wood chipper, bro. Sorry, I missed what you said. Jehovah's....who?

    • 42
    • FAVS
    SmiilzeBobbyAnthemKimJongJeffBulldog0613MarcusOreallymy_boy_joeyPsycholystArroia
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    MmeNaztySilverBadger77StephanieG77bugattiprototypHelloAvaSchnitzengigglzVinoTicadevinecelt
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Went to a city for the first time in a year yesterday. I was ready for those crazy fucked up sons of bitches this time. Thanks guys.

    • 44
    • FAVS
    BobbyAnthemFlashShumwayKimJongJeffSmiilzeBulldog0613MarcusOreallymy_boy_joeyPsycholyst
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    MmeNaztySchnitzengigglz
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Here in redneck land, there are two distinct and quite different meanings for animal husbandry.

    • 65
    • FAVS
    CajunKuzinL0RD_BYRONGhetto_TrophyTsunamiQueendannydogmouthLittleJimmy61BradNewsBearsstacibonbon
    • 18
    • RETWEETS
    SpunkdropletjustenderBradNewsBearsAdrianLeeSACarolCarmineShoutingGoddessBobbyAnthemmolwen
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    New gang I got jumped into is pretty choosy about new members. *throws up Doppel gang sign.

    • 39
    • FAVS
    SmiilzeBobbyAnthemFlashShumwayKimJongJeffMarcusOreallymy_boy_joeyArroiaMmeNazty
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    VinoTicaTuna_Lover
  • cynicanoldicus
      Paul @cynicanoldicus

    Suspect my horse faked an illness this morning out of jealousy. I may have lived in the woods too long.

    • 62
    • FAVS
    SmiilzeBobbyAnthemKimJongJeffBulldog0613MarcusOreallymy_boy_joeyPsycholystArroia
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    favstar50cigarinSuggestibleDave
@cynicanoldicus

@cynicanoldicus

I have a new mission in my life. Sister Sara runs it and they serve the best potato soup on Fridays.