@redwithenvy like ur new avi. ive never seen someone wear a fuzzy pink crown and look so stern. bubblegum island is ruled with an iron fist

"Hey.. Maybe there's something wrong with me? Maybe I'm the root of my problems?" - no one on any social networking site ever

"Fuck, my eyes!" A lone comma is the difference between a dry contact lense and skullfuckageddon

@stellartwot looks like a butt to me. Guess it's a sexual rorshach test

no my "ballin'" is very much under control sir

What's shocking isn't that sheen isnt a competent live performer but that there are people that expect him to be.

@stellartwot he's your richard gere

giraffe u look ridiculous. u look like a cheetah that fucked a horse that fucked a camel that fucked a donkey. fix that shit man seriously

i do my best dancing in the shower avoiding the scalding hot water from my schizophrenic water heater

@0214infl ty for the follow =) hope your high helps you forget your shitty boss

@redwithenvy you have ovaries made of steel. i got nervous even thinking of tweeting from my doctor's waiting room.

@yourabreaction yeah it's kind of insane. there's nothing more despised in the world than a promiscuous woman

@stellartwot jeffery dahmer famously replied "there's a body in it" when asked why a bag was so heavy. ur the dahmer of illegitimate kids

how much I like someone is inversely proportional to how well I know them

rza sounds like he spits a lot when he talks

Wow. Just rolled my eyes so hard they almost fell out of my fucking head.

@kalyfornia america has always talked out of both sides of its mouth. toppling dictatorships (iraq) while supporting dictators (egypt)?

@kayleetanner it's to compensate for the lack of those things. there's an issue with inadequacy, i sympathize for them too

These dead-eyed young kids.. Babies murder dreams #teenmoms2

@redwithenvy i looked at a picture of steve mcqueen for like a minute and i got pregnant. and i'm a guy