#1: 'The Great Gatsby' looks like a two hour Heineken commercial.

#1: The only thing more impressive than my accomplishments is my résumé.

@danyallstar15 ya fuck it ill wear red I'm an allstar #50goals pic.twitter.com/H0fIMxQJAt

Will #Oscars go to the film that gives our agent all the credit for Canada's hostage rescue, or our torture team the credit for finding OBL?

“Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.”—Marcus Aurelius

#1: Right now is the oldest you've ever been & the youngest you'll ever be again.
#2: Fuck you and your valedictorian clichés.

Enough of that now, I promise to tweet something about vaginas or something again soon.

We're withdrawing from #Afghanistan. Just don't ask what we have to show for it.  http://www.nytimes.com/2013/02/15/world/middleeast/afghan-withdrawals-main-hurdle-getting-gear-out.html …

“I am thankful to all those who said no to me. It’s because of them I did it myself.”—Wayne W. Dyer

#1: No need to worry, my accountant handles that. #biggie

The root cause of any decline in defense spending is the Fear Deficit. #fearthefeardeficit

#LOL RT @arifleischer: I increased donations to charity in 2012. This deal limits my deductions so I will likely donate less in 2013.

Speak with your ACTIONS today: “I'll let the racket do the talking.”—John McEnroe