Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
No one unfollows me. Am I doing something wrong?
You know it's been a good night when you go out with a bottle of Vodka & come back with a kitten.
If it doesn't look like a shotgun wound down there when I'm done with you, then I never loved you.
My other tweet's a Porsche
Anyone else remember when just normal porn was enough to get you off?
I see the natural look is 'in'. Pubes, that is
So, Twitter have stored & sold the past two years of tweets to advertisers. What the fuck are they going to try & sell me? Lube?
"Who the fuck are you, & why are you in my kitchen". --- Pretty much every girl I've met recently
Heroin. Because fuck teeth.
The way to a mans heart, if done correctly, is through his anus.
I cannot fucking wait for the rapture. Can you imagine the fun we're gonna have once those cunts have gone?
I actually tweet better tweets with my cock in my hand.
Apparently, spitting in someone's face on the street just cos they don't follow you on Twitter is a big no no round here.
Turns out sperm is a great glass cleaner. Who knew?
Why is #AnalRape trending? Sadly, it's not. But could you imagine??
I only shit myself in expensive Italian designer suits 'cos I'm classy like that.
It was I who fucked the monkey that has AIDS
Just named my new cat Nipples.
Inspiration is fucking a dead hooker. Genius is tweeting you as I do it.
I can fart the alphabet.