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I wish I had 1/10th of HBO's promo confidence.
I sure think "I'm tired I wish I were dead" a lot.
I'm drinking bourbon watching Seinfeld bloopers on YouTube. My cat's sleeping in a cardboard box. I'm almost 40.
Hide and seek. The Republicans are it. Count to 1,000. The rest of us quietly row to Greenland.
I was googling new political parties to join but I think what I really want is a beret.
Society is too idiotic now. Imma go live that Wall*E life on the plastic garbage island.
Cruz and Fiorina would be great at running a haunted Victorian orphanage.
Dogs don't like hugs and they don't want the fucking TV on when you're out of the house.
Kinda weird how dumb and mean everybody got.
Of course centaurs are grumpy. They can't jerk off.
I don't know what I did before I refreshed websites all day.
Doesn't it seem like no one sensible is in charge anywhere?
If someone likes me, I assume something must be wrong with them. If a lot of people like me, now we're getting somewhere.
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