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I'm tired of the news. If you need me I'll be watching old Popeye cartoons.
🎵All I want to do/is have some sleep/I've got a feelin'/meep meep meep meep meep meep🎵
Company-wide emails that contain the phrase "woo-hoo!"
Hey, is there a good place around here to do some wuthering? Up there, huh? Alright, thanks.
My brain told me to find the joy in today and I shouted "Good idea, brain!" out loud in the shower.
My entire lifestyle just became tiresome.
Great Tumblr post. I'll give it a heart. What? I already did? I don't remember ever seeing this before! I'm wasting my life.
Oh hello, the hour of Sunday evening where I feel empty and worthless. I've been expecting you.
What was James Garner doing in Gaza anyway?
The answer to "Payphones?! Who uses those anymore?!" is always poor people, you dick.
Oi. Any British people follow me who want to give me a job? I want out of here (the Americas).
At the end of the day when I take my shoes off my cat likes to rub her face inside my shoes. I'm glad I give someone something.
You sit in a room filled with every book, gizmo and thingydo you've ever deemed worthy of owning and you've never been more bored.
If someone likes me, I assume something must be wrong with them. If a lot of people like me, now we're getting somewhere.