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  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    "Take this bread and eat it, for it is my body" - The Pillsbury Doughboy

    • 56
    • FAVS
    WahwahbooboMichael7Epzziafacing_northTaliaisSmartAndrewisAndrewDrewFitzbaoleu____________
    • 23
    • RETWEETS
    WahwahbooboJames_GranthamrahatarmanahmedGalaxyDog420facing_northEmmettChoi________howlspeaksAndrewisAndrew
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    My fear of commitment and wolfmen ruined my relationship with the wolfman

    • 32
    • FAVS
    chrisjooniorRobLaskydubbillMrDanielJohnsoncalksterjawbrokeninsmousegeorge_coswagza
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    JackCanadayiheartnorchnicofishOminousJazzbindi_day________eniologiaelpaganoescapatropikoala________
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    This gingerbread house hasn't been a gingerbread home since the murder-suicide.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    britnyranae______snubdoggweedteen69DrewFitzThaLastBagelTheFroyoMonsterbvmc00CookedOnPhonics
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    pzziajonkeownGalaxyDog420whoiscodywolfKalvynnnKevinCoppagephoenix_emrysCinnamonGFE
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    I bet if you cut Rush Limbaugh open a bunch of diarrhea would pour out but if I'm wrong and it's just blood then that would be okay too

    • 15
    • FAVS
    BuzzquotesCollinBarpoMDPiratLoiccexmangJerkasaurusRexVarmint_FarmkokorobitchNonmetallic_Owl
    • 14
    • RETWEETS
    iiARSONKevinCoppagenicoleerinckleptoninJerkasaurusRexfavstar_pop_ctkblkcrombot
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    It takes more muscles to frown than it does to suppress the darkness brewing inside of you

    • 21
    • FAVS
    lilcridinghooddayomitereeeeeeentellisk_megabadmilkdayDrewFitznsuttnerdirk_ickles
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    lilcridinghood4__0__4GenchyMcFlybadmilkdaydrewfoundlandKalvynnnKevinCoppagenewtypeSaint
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    Tempurpedic mattresses are perfect for people who want to do a few practice drops before killing their sleeping spouse with a bowling ball

    • 21
    • FAVS
    orangejuice_inc__DrewFitznsuttnerbvmc009DaysOldlibrarianfonz____MissedNotemissingblakes
    • 8
    • RETWEETS
    weedteen69whoiscodywolfKalvynnnhoagiekevinKevinCoppagevavera4kaBuckyHermitJoeMunsterman
    Ninnabet__________
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    I'm worried that my dog might get hit by a car before I can baptize her

    • 15
    • FAVS
    anhonestmess______badmilkdayhippiebuffalo__rickfichterbrodsky___________dirk_icklesbvmc00z_a_c_h_k_a_t_z
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Bicknasty665Hughhh_MxrkDog_MarriageKevinCoppageDawnLovesZombie
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    I've been to this palm reader so many times that she knows the front of my hand like the back of her hand.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    DrewFitzdirk_icklesbuzzyrascal______bvmc00laurahapper______MichelleScherktraderjimboCindyBakesIt
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    weedteen69KevinCoppagephoenix_emryslatinabug_njJasonEscape
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    I am head over heels with vertigo

    • 18
    • FAVS
    TheFroyoMonsterlaurahapper______MichelleScherkNickCasalinilibrarianfonz____missingblakestraderjimboExploringUrMind
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    KevinCoppage
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    I hope my family will honor my last wishes and find a cure for death.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    badmilkdayLHGarrettbvmc00TheFroyoMonstermauracakesbuzzyrascal______Dog_MarriageKevinCoppage
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    mauracakesMxrkKevinCoppagenewtypeSaint
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    if you’re racist and you love basketball, then you love basketball. You love basketball more than I have loved anything in my entire life.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    JeffFleisherTheFroyoMonstercahsonAir_Maxemakbakia_tozjiflushpuppyPronouncedCoke
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    4__0__4Bicknasty665KevinCoppagea_dude_irlUmJammerEmmykanyedocspidey
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    Everytime you enslave a child, a Victoria’s Secret Angel gets its wings.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    BuzzquotesMichelleScherkNickCasalinilibrarianfonz____Blacksbrgmister__traderjimboIscofGeneralGrevious
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    Dane Cook seems like he would have been annoying as hell to be lab partners with in AP Chemistry

    • 13
    • FAVS
    scrirc____________CookedOnPhonics4__0__4AustralianimalMichelleScherkBlacksbrgmister__TequilaTearstylerschmall
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    CookedOnPhonics
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    "Connecticut" is an old Native American word for "New Hampshire"

    • 10
    • FAVS
    dirk_ickleszu_handen________GnarlMarx________mana_horse__________jeffrohowardTacet_no_moreGeneralGreviousMichelleScherk
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    KevinCoppageGnarlMarx________HIV_AIDZ
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    Just finished Catcher in the Rye. Spoiler alert: John Lennon dies in the end.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    Nonmetallic_OwlbruisepaperdocspideyOwl_movementKevinCoppageLooseTalks_Girl
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Labrite34bruisepaperboganjusticedocspideyKevinCoppagenewtypeSaint
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    "damn this library is SWAG AS FUCK" "sir, please leave"

    • 5
    • FAVS
    CookedOnPhonicsBig_Tuck_EllieTheMemeMoxXiePeachezBlueRose_Karina
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Red_GrimreaperMoxXiePeachezIAmMaide__________BlueRose_KarinaGalactaKnight_BowserVonKuppa
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    the bungee cord pulls taut and rips the jumper in half, showering spectators with gore. "heh," I say, "first world problems"

    • 3
    • FAVS
    christaranKallemacdnsuttner
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    Ruddiggerxeno378kavanclearyplad01jasonkilleudaimonsuttner
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    woah I found a message board for white supremacist NBA fans

    • 4
    • FAVS
    tozjiPronouncedCoke_Butt_Face_docspidey
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    a_dude_irlUmJammerEmmykanyedocspideyWBKeatsjermfool
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    I truly thought he was the one, but that ornery old prospector turned out to be just another gold digger.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    anhonestmess______MichelleScherkjoshingsternlibrarianfonz_____correctomundoHeyZeusTx________ExploringUrMindEricMarten
  • danisntfunny
      Dan Cee @danisntfunny

    people on Tatooine probably called Tusken Raiders "sand-n words" behind closed doors

    • 5
    • FAVS
    joshingsternBlacksbrgmister__joeljeffreydocspideyKimKardashsToe
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    rightyourselfseancourtmoewytchdogdocspidey
@danisntfunny

@danisntfunny

blame it on the epicanthal folds