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  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Gift @daplusk Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 6,747
    • LIKES
    hii_dogUnderwaterCopSteveKoehler22iGreenMonkdavidbeezMsMcQuinmercywills631RedSabin
    • 4,059
    • RETWEETS
    Change051811SteveKoehler22MsMcQuinRedSabinajaychlkereskiita_MBshonEAlMansy
    CelebrityChezericonederfulthatUPSdudeCpin42SusanRinell
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.

    • 4,794
    • LIKES
    Leticia87672472nkirk4homelessnrbreaksBluntBongfire2sweetthestlouisanTheBigBatmanKentWGraham
    • 4,060
    • RETWEETS
    scot4bzBARBIIEDOLLY_abreupsmatthewshirtslivtraversiBayLuv420SlipperyMudcrabLogan_Leanne34
    Moi_RaRacarlykenGlazerBooHooHoormfnordshwebby3TomSchallyCelebrityChezTheDailySchmuckladyfiredancerReverend_ScottMatt_The_1stlllvvvzzzbigmacherStellacopterloveletterbombslarisasaysIGotsSmartspartiallyproGhetto_TrophycurlycomedyUglyPrick________fullblowndavedoooiiiitthebombdottcomFunny2hipchkk
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Sleeping with your ex is like retweeting someone you unfollowed.

    • 2,035
    • LIKES
    KentWGrahamthestlouisanTheBigBatmansilvertongue37ScandalousRedprincesschattycjBrisenoDrawBeyondLines
    • 2,732
    • RETWEETS
    KentWGrahamTheBigBatmanSonataMariakelsrich82princesschattyLimeylizzieJosaG_NeediSayMore4u
    ericonederfulli4mst3w4rtMollyERAgwatts77SaraESpivey
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Marriage is like friends with benefits without the benefits. Or the friends

    • 2,341
    • LIKES
    chimneyspotterWindPushedGrassTheBigBatmanJulianaDesireetheshantillyyour_strugglepgomez2010SecureSam
    • 1,497
    • RETWEETS
    tis_r00tdarthcoder2henaahainaaiwearaonesieWas_I_invertedTheBigBatmanyour_struggleSecureSam
    dxblarssonENGQwertyJones3gerryhatricDarlainkyclemdytanGreyPath1__CherishMebigmacherPeteypops13payal_vjayneunchained____MouVanLeefluffysuse
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I'm so selfish I wear ribbed condoms inside out.

    • 2,266
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieCelebrityChezWindPushedGrassKentWGrahamjp094_yourenotmymumCSWolfe465ClosetRecluse
    • 1,046
    • RETWEETS
    WindPushedGrassKentWGrahamjp094_yourenotmymumRuthePhoenixDan_da_man97PsychToastveryshnail
    jake_likes_napsnigelgodwin_jennjennNotJustJack______ImKevinito________mugkipNotDeakins_BKL_____________iwearpajamas______
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.

    • 1,941
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieMykeLeTaurisWindPushedGrassIAmHellsBellsfire2sweetDeirdreocxKamiObarothestlouisan
    • 1,232
    • RETWEETS
    ShanLockedChandaLandWindPushedGrassCharlesCrayolafire2sweetDeirdreocxharbitcrystal79DanielFenton17
    brennadineBruceForce
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    A man died today. He wasn't famous. He wasn't rich, but he was loved. I love you dad.

    • 2,200
    • LIKES
    masonmolly16WindPushedGrassKentWGrahamthestlouisanTheBigBatmanBreathe_ttCelsoPiazzi__dreamthievin
    • 931
    • RETWEETS
    iwearaonesieTheBigBatmansheseemslegitSondraDeeMeInferno_VNoOneImptSloppileeolivefin
    MSN2BEkjataylorSaraESpiveydetroit_etpeachesanscreamZeRoyalBaumer____partiallyproGHCanada__________hipchkkMoistPorkJoeyPositivityimence2RichHarris2BabetteJonesBarebakAssassinskitzoetteporkrimsen________WittyClittytdhurstllvvzz
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Studies have found that, on average, a man thinks about sex once every tits seconds.

    • 1,730
    • LIKES
    momma0315cuntyfruitbatsTyWebb1980CoswayhippocroteezbrianisacoolguyseamussaidElcovanderKlink
    • 754
    • RETWEETS
    cuntyfruitbatsReliantDobbinYonYonsonHQseamussaidDohftkarenphotogCallMeDraperpartlyfunny
    theshantilly954LeenOGroperClevelandMothpete
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Ugly people have kids to prove they've had sex.

    • 1,441
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieWindPushedGrassfire2sweetDurtMcHurttTheBigBatmanChristweetpher_PurelyYours1just1fool
    • 881
    • RETWEETS
    WindPushedGrassDurtMcHurttTheBigBatmanawijeetjust1foolKeroNotorioFBJeffers0nfurkyturky1412
    li4mst3w4rtSugarTittaysBillArrundaleJackieluvsUK
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Never trust a homeless person selling warm lemonade

    • 1,402
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieWindPushedGrassfire2sweetthestlouisanBook_KrazyclintfuThe_MartiniGirlChristweetpher_
    • 718
    • RETWEETS
    WindPushedGrassWas_I_invertedBook_KrazyNeediSayMore4uJeannieG40The_MartiniGirlkoffiecatBritXNic
    wesjohnson8jamieramonemazizkhalifa
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Nothing worse than an idiot with a valid point

    • 1,226
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesiethestlouisan_CiaoAlbasaradookiexxOneyeBogeymarczeiderGoldenSpiralscranky_unfun_1
    • 881
    • RETWEETS
    thestlouisansaradookiexxsamanthaannrlevinconstantinGoldenSpiralscranky_unfun_1insertwittynamThe_GetawayGirl
    lakeanagirljunejuly12kate_smithxxwriterPTbeefman138Darlainky
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    If Tom Hanks signature doesn't read as "THanks" he is an idiot.

    • 1,207
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesiePushPuttpockybotzAngelMCastilloitsHECTORNOWMelBarnesUKkatiemartipussy4prezident
    • 723
    • RETWEETS
    ROSHNINARULAswingin_singerpapa_ki_pari_GrabwrapGuptaAdarshBaserValayismVermilliongreyTangledM3ss
    adamlucidiYouFuckingWon
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I called my nephew Shaun instead of Sean and he didn't even notice. Idiot.

    • 1,314
    • LIKES
    ovtlebun86nadinechyzbuddhatreeGodBlessAchooarphodgesmeeulksophienuuttallrisque_princess
    • 605
    • RETWEETS
    GodBlessAchoorisque_princesselvisupermanmr_major_thomyordansicmisterbrymoJoeF_E17Captstabbyface
    mattZillaaaa
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    If your girlfriend asks you to role play 'doctors and nurses' in the bedroom, don't diagnose her with down-syndrome. Trust me on this.

    • 1,151
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesiejellysickle42Traceykemp8rainicorn201RobertG_F149lottiegwalkerEndlesslySoberm0mjawn
    • 599
    • RETWEETS
    sherslutholmeslottiegwalkerDora_E11evenEndlesslySoberm0mjawncaseytduncandavebenton27karenphotog
    FistyScent
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I look forward to the day when people will only know Cancer as a Zodiac sign

    • 1,125
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieAdyacesBreathe_ttdreamthievinmriamyBritXNicericonederfulDeLMarSan
    • 610
    • RETWEETS
    AdyacesBreathe_ttmriamytheraddestmemeShriekingNoisestherealeatwoodpaulablu22UhhmIDontKnow
    LackOfShametayandmae_jennjennKadayo_TakaminiBacon_Ball________GetCougarizedElifcelloletsdancebitchsxxprettymuchthejonjohnPurpleReyn
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Love is when there is no "wrong hole."

    • 974
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesiefishy_smellsmonikaloreleitmoswoleJDWRobinsonashmenschFloodyHippieIts_Miss_Riss
    • 366
    • RETWEETS
    fishy_smellsmonikaloreleitmoswoleJDWRobinsonBadMonkeySayWatFloodyHippieIts_Miss_RissWillie1derful
    Bathing_in_Sin____
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I won't even look up from my phone until the 3rd date.

    • 702
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesiethestlouisansocialmdiacre8rTheMichaelRockkarenphotogLovisaBooghEvaGylfefryagami
    • 356
    • RETWEETS
    karenphotogpelleblom10sanna_wibergBigMajkfelicianilssonsSkylarZCmelinabendelinnilrod
    daemonic3mattZillaaaa
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Statistically if driving a stake through the heart kills vampires, we're all vampires.

    • 630
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieVerbsRProudestnataliemac__KentWGrahamCpt0bvious_laurrlorOkelloZangithestlouisan
    • 371
    • RETWEETS
    _ShawnPorterthestlouisanthearagornmkGoldenSpiralsBumpyRIde_Iremsu_kulUchiha_Chukafaridafeisal
    blood_orphan
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Today HR told me that I constantly misinterpret what people say as being sexual and I need to stop or I will be sacked

    She wants to fuck me

    • 687
    • LIKES
    Book_Krazyfire2sweetDrawingButtsmike_romanageStarSpaceDrivepunmagnateBeyondThe140SvengaliLuddite
    • 225
    • RETWEETS
    Book_Krazyalbey91910BeyondThe140thatnicgirlGoldenSpiralsTwoSapphiresBlugildermikeProudFFAalumni
    KatieBurnettKLIM0VSKIPeaceInTruth1
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Maybe it's not wind. Maybe trees wave because they're lonely.

    • 513
    • LIKES
    iwearaonesieTheMichaelRockpfrisone3LarryTheN8vGuyGoldenSpiralsdreamthievinmachminerthatguyrick
    • 396
    • RETWEETS
    LarryTheN8vGuyGoldenSpiralstintsofgracemachminerthatguyrick6strings402TwoSapphiresBluudaysahadevan
@daplusk

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