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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Gift @daplusk Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 4,203
    • FAVS
    AldereteMaryspiegelspeaksKarenPa15534681BeachDreamin291tdmcd23_taylortiffanyhamletDogsOfSampleblairkenney
    • 3,597
    • RETWEETS
    gwallace48BeachDreamin291WhatupBiotchadamjestcutie_paul_ruddNick_DeMarco5lucypalladinolandless_nick
    Moi_RaRacarlykenGlazerBooHooHoormfnordshwebby3TomSchallyCelebrityChezTheDailySchmuckladyfiredancerReverend_ScottMatt_The_1stlllvvvzzzbigmacherStellacopterloveletterbombslarisasaysIGotsSmartspartiallyproGhetto_TrophycurlycomedyUglyPrick________fullblowndavedoooiiiitthebombdottcomFunny2hipchkk
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I'm so selfish I wear ribbed condoms inside out.

    • 2,146
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxKeroNotorioRubberGlueFUFlyJ_RandomFlumpSpacePrisonertequilasaltlifeTilt_A_Squirrel
    • 990
    • RETWEETS
    FlyJ_SpacePrisonertequilasaltlifeTilt_A_SquirrelCrooow1dreamsinchocolaryan_rachryan80squirrel74wkgn
    nigelgodwin_jennjennNotJustJack______ImKevinito________mugkipNotDeakins_BKL_____________iwearpajamas______
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    A man died today. He wasn't famous. He wasn't rich, but he was loved. I love you dad.

    • 2,091
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxabrahacadabraPlaying_DadElizasoul80JimGilhooly1957mr_highwaymannovember17AudreyPorne
    • 897
    • RETWEETS
    november17SpacePrisonerUrebariftequilasaltliferyan_rachryan80XLCadillacA2J316lucasloveslily
    MSN2BEkjataylorSaraESpiveydetroit_etpeachesanscreamZeRoyalBaumer____partiallyproGHCanada__________hipchkkMoistPorkJoeyPositivityimence2RichHarris2BabetteJonesBarebakAssassinskitzoetteporkrimsen________WittyClittytdhurstllvvzz
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Marriage is like friends with benefits without the benefits. Or the friends

    • 2,002
    • FAVS
    Nick_Hanson182rockymomaxMilind__SinghlivinglordLuke_DinkelbourgeoisalienError_143anant13u
    • 1,276
    • RETWEETS
    isaacjhutchAlexandraCurryMilind__SinghlivinglordLuke_DinkelError_143JACQU8LINAdenicat13
    dxblarssonENGQwertyJones3gerryhatricDarlainkyclemdytanGreyPath1__CherishMebigmacherPeteypops13payal_vjayneunchained____MouVanLeefluffysuse
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Sleeping with your ex is like retweeting someone you unfollowed.

    • 1,906
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxBrokenManPhulenon1amatopaulablu22BumpinGemzth_purpl_ladyLeslieAMLNotEdelweiss
    • 2,648
    • RETWEETS
    BrokenManPhuleclc040paulablu22AnilNehra11BumpinGemzLeslieAMLcaseytduncanAl_Abbandando
    li4mst3w4rtMollyERAgwatts77SaraESpivey
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Studies have found that, on average, a man thinks about sex once every tits seconds.

    • 1,637
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxIamSergioGrantwittwitbaristafallenangel3324hargetsingerMagoosbackConnorPratt68onemooremommy
    • 703
    • RETWEETS
    IamSergioGrantMindless4MilesdavidesmarucchiMagoosbackAndyAsAdjectiveperhapssomedaymusculardogProdigyNelson
    954LeenOGroperClevelandMothpete
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Never trust a homeless person selling warm lemonade

    • 1,360
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxn0tblondeBrandiBecker420ElleTexasFloodyHippieleela_o_OKentWGrahamRaniaanter
    • 691
    • RETWEETS
    BrandiBecker420FloodyHippiethe_itchy_scabKentWGrahamFlyJ_March_OasistequilasaltlifeDickieRyder
    wesjohnson8jamieramonemazizkhalifa
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I nod and smile at empty places just to confuse any ghosts that might be there into thinking i can see them.

    • 1,329
    • FAVS
    LoNeavesniobiatechCatherineLMKThisisMrGilbertTheAlexNevilLoveNLunchmeatkolby182Thisis_Roshan
    • 755
    • RETWEETS
    TheAlexNevilkolby182LuvPugGeorgiaSASSholeneetuvijay91nikole_kithcartPeterSosulskileximillions
    brennadineBruceForce
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Ugly people have kids to prove they've had sex.

    • 1,317
    • FAVS
    Nick_Hanson182ImatureAudiencerockymomaxLuke_DinkelbourgeoisalienSelinaManchecloudypianosJimboEJames
    • 834
    • RETWEETS
    vr6gtihubchenkoRussVentimigliaJohnnyKetchupdadintimeoutJediGigiCamDouglasAllenobi_ian_kenobi
    BillArrundaleJackieluvsUK
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I look forward to the day when people will only know Cancer as a Zodiac sign

    • 1,074
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxAudraNepstadsuperkrispydjDocWifeKateWhineHallthe_itchy_scabthequeensheartDanni7676
    • 580
    • RETWEETS
    bobbibowwomanmummzy1sam9kKateWhineHallthequeensheartDanni7676jollyrobberFlyJ_
    LackOfShametayandmae_jennjennKadayo_TakaminiBacon_Ball________GetCougarizedElifcelloletsdancebitchsxxprettymuchthejonjohnPurpleReyn
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Nothing worse than an idiot with a valid point

    • 1,022
    • FAVS
    TherrysBRecalcitrant793RRON_rockymomaxGetongaalexbennefieldbklynmike3InsouciantMan
    • 729
    • RETWEETS
    TherrysBGetongaInsouciantManinojperezR0ANronakbearlilithjewelSoldHerSoul
    kate_smithxxwriterPTbeefman138Darlainky
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Love is when there is no "wrong hole."

    • 929
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxBrittFoxworthyhuntrfoxErela_MidoriTangledKittenKittyShittyycm_rutvikColoChiver
    • 338
    • RETWEETS
    BrittFoxworthyhuntrfoxgaurav8981KittyShittyycm_rutvikthe_itchy_scabKissabiXjollyrobber
    Bathing_in_Sin____
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    If your girlfriend asks you to role play 'doctors and nurses' in the bedroom, don't diagnose her with down-syndrome. Trust me on this.

    • 919
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxshamii_plAndrew16PetersoLittlebiggirlRememberNguyenLyssAnthropeNatashaRawsonoddgirlart
    • 466
    • RETWEETS
    MitchTheBitch25NatashaRawsondjr_102AlexHatinaAlexColasante97JEPollSkankeeDoodleJames_rotor
    FistyScent
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    If Tom Hanks signature doesn't read as "THanks" he is an idiot.

    • 825
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxbarkingtreesallisonbrown03JennaraterScorpio1080KattsDogmabrobro___musculardog
    • 446
    • RETWEETS
    4leerandomthotsbarkingtreesJennaraterJakeMilsnerichlubrobro___musculardogJasonmoore1978
    adamlucidiYouFuckingWon
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Foreplay is like eating with a formal dinner setting. You start from the outside and work your way in.

    • 686
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxn0tblondenotoriousPOBDrangulaDanKCharnleyLipLush1ICountBeanssJohnnyCrash5
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    wendysredryonarcherenemybsnc64biggarfdPiratePrincessvelvettuskJ_IllunninatibrokeMD__
    kattcalls________
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    [on 1st date]
    Me: Have you ever flown to Paris on a private jet before?
    Her: No, I'd love to
    Me: Same
    Me: *shows photo of cat* this is Tim

    • 638
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxOliveStuffblasphe_meLMTHFCKNKJaroslavGracikMichelleFrimlanetwrnikisaxi
    • 409
    • RETWEETS
    OliveStuffBolkonskijAkt_sheltsCalebBilbreyKmart6411geniusindisgizekimberlybryantannieweber33
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Today HR told me that I constantly misinterpret what people say as being sexual and I need to stop or I will be sacked

    She wants to fuck me

    • 602
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxcm_rutviksilent_musingsDanKCharnleyLipLush1JohnnyCrash5brain_omenMrBrown419
    • 183
    • RETWEETS
    brain_omenZacThillitsmetrbRuinMyWeekSinfulShellywendysredryonarcherenemybsnc64
    KLIM0VSKIPeaceInTruth1
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Had sex with a transvestite the other day.

    She took it like a man.

    • 567
    • FAVS
    TotallyGeorgiaProdigyNelsonDanKCharnleyLipLush1SamPollack98Solar_Crawlerhymennnisdeadhstweetheart
    • 140
    • RETWEETS
    ProdigyNelsonhsskiteammascotUncutDREWleryAwpalotI_am_DoodleQwertyJones3squirrel74wkgnwendysredryon
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    Statistically if driving a stake through the heart kills vampires, we're all vampires.

    • 561
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxstennardProdigyNelsontrashtasticatequilasaltlifeDrangulasilent_musingspsychopathraf
    • 335
    • RETWEETS
    stennardKingCassonProdigyNelsontequilasaltlifebawsee_laydeeknottyk0lexubanms_sarraah
    blood_orphan
  • daplusk
      dak @daplusk

    I bet the guy who invented cursive writing was drunk.

    • 487
    • FAVS
    rockymomaxcm_rutvikbakonutPiper_Lee_925Drangulasilent_musingsrealHamOnWryASelfe
    • 295
    • RETWEETS
    cm_rutvikbakonutPiper_Lee_925karnagie_mtsjohnbla43361534LipLush1Jodi_Goertzjergarl
    ElgatoEsmio
@daplusk

@daplusk

http://t.co/2pnjgufQOm

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