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Drinking wine purchased at Wal*Mart out of a Yahtzee cup. Any ladies free this weekend?
Just took a nap in a chair, then moved and fell asleep on the couch in case any of you needed a life coach.
Saw a lady wipe her dogs ass. Dog waited for it like it expected it. Can you guys recommend ways to un-see things.
Courtney Love murdered kurt cobain 17 years ago today. Time for a trial.
Added sweatpants and diet mt dew to my shopping list in case your wondering how hard I'm trying at life.
Hilarious question for making friends w/strangers
Q. Does it smell like updog in here?
Likely A. What's up dog?
I dont know what's up w/ u
Does any rap song discuss buying Peeps at full price? Cause I just did and would like to rock out.
What is LinkedIn? And does it have an "about me" section I can leave blank to avoid people asking questions?
The neighbors know my name my name. Cause I introduced myself last week last week.
16% of children in US are poor? Nope 100% of US children are poor they don't work or own anything save shitty artwork they can't sell
Called comic book store to order a title and staff recognized me by sound of my voice, if you ladies needed another reason to talk to me.
Greatest event of my week. Cracker Barrel premium cheese on sale at my grocery store.
Are we all still pretending to like greek yogurt? Or are we admitting its basically battery acid.
Sweating like Paris Hilton in church