Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Dodgeball is easy. Let's try a spirited game of "dodge cat".
*a tweet in the spirit of Gary Larson's "tethercat" Far Side cartoon
You can tell a lot about a man by how he acts in the kitchen. If he won't reach inside a waste-disposal, he probably isn't that into fisting
"Do what you love and you'll never have to work a day in your life" is especially true if you love not working.
Is it original? No!
Is it funny? No!
Am I drunk? Yes!
I can't believe it's almost time to start spring cleaning. I have so many springs on the floor.
I hope whatever is happening in the next stall is consensual.
If there's one thing this tweet has taught me, it's that I shouldn't have ended it with a question mark?
Checked my email and for the first time in 5 years, I didn't have any emails from singles in my area that want to meet me. Lost my touch.
Killed a hipster once in Brooklyn just to watch him sigh.
Just realized my kids will never get to scream MOM I GOT IT!!! HANG UP THE PHONE!
Was Jesus Christ worried about how many followers he had? Well, yes. Carry on then.
If it’s true that men are from Mars and women Venus, our children will all be unviable!!!
Singer, song writer and drummer for Hank Telford & the Wild Onions. I once had sex on an air mattress. http://favstar.fm/users/darinlovesbacon
Like @darinlovesbacon’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!