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On this day, let us not forget the very first Cyber Monday:
When the pilgrims - who still used AOL - got their identities stolen online.
A neck tattoo of an avocado is a great way to let people know you're classy and care about a diverse nutritional fat composition.
It's sad to think the Cookie Monster always sat alone when he ate...
Last thing I remember is parking in my neighbor's yard at 4am & then casually checking my mailbox so that things didn't seem weird.
These cargo pants might not be very fashionable, but what matters is that I have 19 hamsters in my pockets right now.
Yes, kids, today is the day we celebrate all we have by pulling it out of the china cabinet and wiping the dust off so we can eat on it.
Yeah but you're not truly thankful until you post about it on Facebook.
Calm down, smoke alarm. It's Thanksgiving. Nothing's actually on fi- crapKIDS BACKYARD, NOW!
My body was once my temple.
Now it's more of a fixer upper and ripe for one of those home renovation shows.
garçon, your finest box of wine!
I gave Siri a British accent because it makes me feel like a spy.
Oops I forgot to work out again
I just want my kids to grow up to be the kind of people that won't camp out in the cold to shop at Walmart.
Yuck, yams are terrible!
*pours a pound of brown sugar on them*
Oh, they're not so bad now.
Favourite sounds of nature:
1. Running water
3. The deafening unending drone of the descent into the infinite abyss
There's "awkward" and then there's the Lone Ranger and Tonto have Thanksgiving Dinner awkward.
[takes long dramatic drag from cigarette] The only way I can even orgasm anymore is if I'm being mauled by a tiger
Teacher: Why are you crying?
Kid: Theyre making fun of me
Kid: *whispers* my last name is Poodick
Are you gonna eat that? http://favstar.fm/users/darinlovesbacon
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