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Thank you, Mitt Romney. I've never felt more of an obligation to vote than I do now after your speech. Obama, you have my vote.
Keep your Armin pictures to yourself tonight, I may implode with jealousy if I'm forced to look at them. Thank you for your cooperation.
"Instagram would be better if it was the name of a cocaine delivery service."
"So they are protesting by standing in line at a fast food chain... Yep, can't think of anything more American."
Down pillows: Because sometimes you just want to come home from a long day and get stabbed in the face with feathers.
Fuck off Jason Aldean, let me get to work. 😠
I like that driving on BBD essentially feels the same as driving on a brick road in the 17th century in a horse buggy.
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel."
If I'm ever that mom with a personalised iPhone case of my family in all white on the beach, have me put me down please.
Convincing Simon we should play rock, paper, scissors to decide which country we visit next. I'm a child.
Only 4 hours until my lover gets here! Hells to the yes. 😁
"Hi! Do you have the most annoying voice ever? If so, you'd be PERFECT for commercials that play on Pandora!"
"This granola bar tastes way too good to be healthy.. ah, wait, yeah. It's a Snickers."
My impatience will surely kill me one day.
I wouldn't necessarily consider myself a pothead, but it's pretty damn cool that marijuana is being legalized in my lifetime.
That "shout it at the top of your lungs" obnoxious kind of love. 😜
Up at 6am. Got my passport sorted out. Now sitting in Starbucks with a latte, and the sun coming through perfectly. It's a good morning. 😊☕
Dear people who drive 50 mph on the interstate, take another fucking route.