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Thank you, Mitt Romney. I've never felt more of an obligation to vote than I do now after your speech. Obama, you have my vote.
Keep your Armin pictures to yourself tonight, I may implode with jealousy if I'm forced to look at them. Thank you for your cooperation.
"Instagram would be better if it was the name of a cocaine delivery service."
"So they are protesting by standing in line at a fast food chain... Yep, can't think of anything more American."
Down pillows: Because sometimes you just want to come home from a long day and get stabbed in the face with feathers.
Fuck off Jason Aldean, let me get to work. 😠
Unless it's mad, passionate, extraordinary love, it's a waste of time. There are many mediocre things in life, love shouldn't be one of them
I like that driving on BBD essentially feels the same as driving on a brick road in the 17th century in a horse buggy.
"All I wanna do is nothing with you."
"The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel."
If I'm ever that mom with a personalised iPhone case of my family in all white on the beach, have me put me down please.
Convincing Simon we should play rock, paper, scissors to decide which country we visit next. I'm a child.
Wanting my American friends to see my Insta/FB posts means I have to post late in Aus. Thusly, I'm either too drunk or tired to be witty. 😝
Home is wherever I'm with you.
Only 4 hours until my lover gets here! Hells to the yes. 😁
Boyfriend's flight only left 2 hours ago & I already miss talking to him. But I guess I can deal, seeing as how he'll be here in 22 hours! 😁
"Hi! Do you have the most annoying voice ever? If so, you'd be PERFECT for commercials that play on Pandora!"