Hey, everyone complaining about Netflix, have you seen the price of milk lately? Fucking dairy farmers, right?

Ring of fire. http://t.co/hAhdY427

I'm a little bit country. No. Tired. Little bit tired. Almost zero country.

Holy shit. It just occurred to me that Japan needs to get all reptiles away from that reactor.

I like my women like I like my C# code: undocumented and a complete mystery as to why I went that way to begin with.

The best thing about having ADHD is never having to say, "Yeah, I heard you the first time."

I think I'm baby-hungry.



Wait. Nope. Just regular hungry.

40 years ago we put a man on the moon but we *still* have to put up with the bullshit called 'mornings'. WTF.

I'm hungry. And I like games. This seems perfect.

Alcohol makes it all better. Like prayer used to.

Sometimes I think, "If I was skinny I'd be unstoppable." Then I sigh and go back to putting chili on my cake.

If only the Stadium of Fire really was.

My favs/follower ratio is 0.30 on favstar.fm. So you all need to start starring my ass more or I'll have to start blocking...your...asses.

Now a giant gay gorilla is going to climb the Empire State Building with a drag queen in his hand. And his fall will be fabulous.

Eclipse mosaic. http://t.co/X85sWKMJ

So I put pants on to go to the store. But I wore slippers because I like to passive-aggressively stick it to the man.

Do you think that really pale girl in the Palm Pre commercials is a virgin?






If she is we could sacrifice her.

Wow. I get a little too excited when I see a trebuchet on television.

North Carolina. First in Flight. Last in rights.

Second day of no caffeine. Pretty sure death is nigh. Or a trip to the store is nigh. Something is nigh.