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@dascola's (Jon Dascola) most faved Tweets...
dascola
I wish all the girls I meet would play by Twitter rules.

Keep everything they say under 140 characters and their pants optional.
@dascola
dascola
I don't understand how the vending machine takes my folded up, old wrinkly dollars, but not the nice, new crisp ones I make from the copier.
@dascola
dascola
This banana is a little firmer than I feel comfortable eating.
@dascola
dascola
So a farmer walks into a bar and sees a brown chicken making out with a brown cow. What does the farmer say?


"Brown-chicka brown-cow"
@dascola
dascola
Some dude is at Best Buy buying a CD.

Should I tell him you can get it for free on the Internet?
@dascola
dascola
Dude rolls into Starbucks on a Segway with a seat attached to it.

Theres a lot more to this scenario than what fits into 140 characters
@dascola
dascola
Growing out my beard to fit in with the protestors today.

What color should I paint my "I dont know what I'm talking about" sign?
@dascola
dascola
I hope GM can still get their new Cameros on the road.

Where else am I going to hang this dreamcatcher, roach clip and Whitesnake ticket?
@dascola
dascola
My Birdhouse is more of a hospice than a nursery.
@dascola
dascola
has changed his relationship status from "Single" to "Smitten"
@dascola
dascola
Sarah Palin visits Miami to help earthquake relief efforts. Claims she can see Haiti from South Beach. View her Facebook page for more info.
@dascola
dascola
Dude's computer next to me has math equations that look like Arabic.

I'm photoshoppong a ketchup bottle.

I win.
@dascola
dascola
Stupid woman pulls out in front of me and cut me off while on her Blackberry.

She better be sending a really funny Columbus Day tweet.
@dascola
dascola
The Dakotas: One would have been plenty.

#failedstatemottos
@dascola
dascola
If you have a Steelers tattoo on the back if your neck I'm willing to bet your Louis Vuitton leisure suit is fake.

Just a guess.
@dascola
dascola
Pirate currancy is booty.
Thats awesome.


I wish I was a rich pirate.
@dascola
dascola
What the hell! That girl just gave me the stink eye.

Well I hope it was the stink eye.
I'd feel bad if she always looked that way.
@dascola
dascola
I refuse to believe, with the level of sophistication our society has achieved, it's that fucking difficult to split a check.
@dascola
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dascola
For the first time in my life, I feel like an artist.
@dascola
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dascola
Twitter has proven most valuable to me as an open gateway for dialogue to corporations and politicians that I think should go eat shit.
@dascola
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