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If you didn't see @barvonblaq kill it on his Half Hour on Comedy Central last night, you NEED to. Now.
@muthafuckinben If Mike Tyson figured it out, you can.
@johnfreiler Change "never" to "always".
@johnfreiler I just meant that if a schmuck like me likes Bronson better, there's hope for society as a whole.
“@johnfreiler: hello i am trying to look "canadian" today pic.twitter.com/A5nhO9VyNx” Needs more denim...
“@mikesirois: TRUSH ME guys..." I was forced to read every word after this in a Sean Connery accent because of your typo. #dangyouse
@mikesirois Who's filling in for Norm while he's away? Please say Cirque... #THF
“@jedshead: It's pretty gross that I'm probably tweeting this from my bathroom.” Well, that's where I read it, so...
@jedshead The longest of long cons. Well played, Wet Bandits. Well played...
“@jedshead: Just how small is an Asian man's penis if he drives a Hummer?” Glad I saved that electron microscope...
@eireanndolan Pro tip: put your hand in the pocket and hold the change in your hand. No jingle. #cheapbastard
“@jedshead: How far away can I smell urine before I know if it's a hipster or homeless guy?” 6.2 feet.
“@jedshead: Is it racist to hate everyone?” About 56% of the time, yes.
“@ali_ali_austin: I wonder how many dead people are still on Facebook.” They are all dead inside? Does that count?
“@carnivalcruise: Love Guy Fieri? Need a vacation? Win a FREE cruise" I blame @johnfreiler for this being in my timeline.
“@thecheckoutgirl: I swear it's like Dave Matthews is singing straight into my vagina.” Is that why he sounds like that?!?
“@mattmira: Am i the only one who thinks it will be hilarious if Romney wins the popular election with exactly 53% of the vote?” Nope.
"@giantsshirt: Mine will only be available in earth tones." Excellent. Maximizes the discomfort.
"@giantsshirt: I'm thinking about starting a culottes for men fashion line." Too late. http://t.co/TGuuYmUW
“@mishakey: Thinking about an avi change. Yes or No? http://t.co/47tyWVau” Yup.
Automotive Photojournalist, Hired Goon, Jazz Elitist
Stats can't be shown as @datsunfreak has never signed in to Favstar.