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What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
"if you don't like where you are, move. you are not a tree."
There is a new drink called Sandy. It's a watered down Manhattan.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
A guy at a bar just told a girl " I wish ur pussy was on bath salts so it would eat my face"!! #solidgame
I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives!
Obama will grab a early lead today..... Until all the republicans get off work.
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "it'll take me a few minutes to get hard. I just got laid by some chick"
I live & love the US. I can tell you that Obama is one of the most genuine ppl I have ever met and fundamentally wants what is best for you.
N'sync dirty pop may be the most epic song of all time!
"JASON DERULO!" - Jason Derulo, when walking into any room, anywhere
These tweets do not reflect the views of the other Buried Life members.