@davegorum's (Jimmithy) most faved Tweets...
I took the orange cold medicine and this muffin tastes like the Windows 98 startup sound and everything smells purple.
I guess you really can't teach a bird to use a circular saw.
Anyway, there's a half puffin in the break room if anyone wants it.
Anyway, there's a half puffin in the break room if anyone wants it.
If the pen is mightier than the sword, this giant novelty pencil must be mightier than a tank. What I'm saying is, this is a stickup.
I just found glitter on my face.
Obviously, I am shedding this hideous human form as I transmorph into the prettiest unicorn ever.
Obviously, I am shedding this hideous human form as I transmorph into the prettiest unicorn ever.
I received your letter but the seal was broken. How you contrived to fold an animal of that size into an envelope so small still baffles me.
Winch? I thought you said WENCH.
Dammit, there's no way the tavern will take her back, knowing I mounted her on the bumper.
Dammit, there's no way the tavern will take her back, knowing I mounted her on the bumper.
After a night of hammering street justice into worthless slimebags, I like to relax with a nice cup of VigilanTEA.
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