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Kourtney and Kim take Miami.
Sorry girls, but the concept of a giant, hideous ogre and a semi-retarded talking donkey has been done before.
"Don't Kid Yourself" would be the greatest brand name for birth control pills.
Christians who believe a gay couple can't raise a child need to realize Jesus had two dads.
Oscar Pistorius granted bail. The judge would've enforced house arrest with an ankle bracelet but he couldn't say it with a straight face.
The difference between "romantic" and "creepy" is the other person's reaction to it.
"If you can make a girl laugh you can make her do any disgusting thing you want" -my dad.
Did Adele win an Oscar for that time she took a dump in the sink in Bridesmaids?
Writer, comedian, musician and backgroud actor. The worst kind of person. Future AA member. Contact: bookings@comic.com