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Whether you're on #hwy63 or any other road...drive safe, smart, & sober today (& every day). We all deserve to make it home safe & sound.
@gerrydee
Every time you hit a bad shot, they say "shoulda kept your head down!"
#peoplenottogolfwith
Thanks to the idiots at Penn state for making Vancouver's hockey riot seem like it was for a noble & worthwhile cause.
Leafs fans are this obnoxious & all they've done is make the playoffs.
If they win the cup, I'm disconnecting my Internet/Cable for a while.
Giving crazy, stupid people Internet connections is apparently the same as feeding Mogwai after midnight.
Seems depressingly appropriate that this sad, miserable week for America might just end in a blaze of violent gunfire.
@lazer_zone the scary/sad thing about our twitter interactions today is we're still by far the most efficient people in the office.
Sucks that Community is delayed, but I’ll wait if it means better shot at ratings and #sixseasonsandamovie
“A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush” - guy who’s bad at picking up women convincing himself it’s OK.
Facebook is so much better now that old people figured out they can post pictures of cats & lame inspirational slogans in huge volumes.
@nolan_h
The dream is pretty much the same every day.
#Khalessi
#dragons
#breasts
#Hodor
#ignorethatlastone
@nolan_h goddamn it! Since this tweet all I can think about is us holding hands skipping down the street to Queen's "you're my best friend"
This old tweet is still 100% true
https://twitter.com/davidkgabriel/status/44897211867348992 …
@nolan_h as hard as the drugs they both love doing!?
*audience groans, then boos
*runs off stage crying
A bowl of chicken noodle soup with NO premium plus crackers available? Why don't I just eat a bowl of poop instead.
Sad the Blue Jays lost opening day? Don't be because they have 679 regular season games still to play!!
#somany
Alberta golf pro turned Newfie accountant
