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I'd hate to be a racist. There's already enough things that annoy me every day without adding the existence of an entire race of people.
Never trust a Hawaiian. Pretty sure it was their idea to put pineapple on pizza.
Fascists are completely right.
(Please get this.)
I'm sure being single does have its advantages, but the crippling loneliness/depression sort of balance things out lolz.
Haven't been retweeted in 3 days. I'm gonna kill a follower every hour until my demands are met.
Just out of the shower. Used Lynx shower gel. Been a couple of minutes. Still not covered in bitches. :(
I like to call my penis "Thor's Hammer", cos Chris Hemsworth can have it whenever he wants.
If I ask you what's up, and you say "the sky", I will make sure the next time you're asked, you'll say "the intensive care unit ceiling."
I live my life by one rule: treat others the way you'd like to be treated yourself. And that's why I don't consider it a rape, your honour.
Fun fact: Star Wars Episode VII will feature a new army of clones, with each and every one played by Nicolas Cage.
Last night's strato jump was:
1) One giant leap for a man, and
2) one hell of an advertising campaign for Red Bull.
From the sounds of gunshots and the word BITCH coming from downstairs, I can tell Ma is watching more Breaking Bad. #RaisingMyMotherRight
Lads who like that TrueLad stuff are really, really cool and DEFINITELY don't have any pent-up homosexuality issues.
I'm on a spiritual break from Twitter. Doing some soul-searching. Trying to figure out how to make this bio even gayer.