@davio1962's (David Leibowitz) most faved Tweets...
The challenge of raising a teenage daughter is knowing when to make her life miserable vs. knowing when to allow her to do it to herself.
Postcard from 11yo son:
Dear Dad,
Maine is beautiful and the animals are nice. (P.S. The moose made me write the last part—SEND HEL
Dear Dad,
Maine is beautiful and the animals are nice. (P.S. The moose made me write the last part—SEND HEL
Met 3 guys from England and none of them had a donkey on their farm. I have to say, my first experience with assless chaps was a letdown.
...and Jesus turned the water into wine.
"No! White, Jesus, white!" the crowd shouted, "You just made us all this fish."
"No! White, Jesus, white!" the crowd shouted, "You just made us all this fish."
My laziness is becoming such a issue that I can't even be bothered hanging my clothes on my treadmill anymore.
I checked the definition of OCD like a hundred times and I'm totally convinced THAT is not my problem. Um...BRB.
Superpower Update: At the current time, my powers of invisibility only seem to work when I am in a room full of rich, good-looking people.
Just standing here in Rockefeller Center waiting for them to light the giant Menorah. Also waiting for a giant Menorah.
Today, I'm sick as a dog. My dog, on the other hand, is fit as a fiddle. My fiddle, on the other hand,...
I would appreciate it if one of you could come here and teach my son a little something about personal responsibility.
How frustrating is my new colleague to work with? Let me put it this way: I'd rather try to fold air.
Thought of learning to sell real estate, but the market is horrible. Now learning to sell surreal estate, and the market is unbelievable.
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