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I don't know what I want to do with my life but I've narrowed it down to the opposite of whatever I'm doing at any given time.
Only with a govt this racist could Brazeau have risen so far with nothing other than his hatred of Native people to recommend him.
In the Cree language, we have over a hundred words to describe the size of someone's big head.
Remember you are loved. Whether its by your friends and family or that parasite you're carrying in colon - someone's happy cuz of you!
Roll up the Rim is great but during this same period, Starbucks baristas will explain their dissertation to you for free!
Sometimes I put things in the microwave to see if they can be microwaved because science.
Date pulled the ole "you speak so well for a Native." I hope he enjoyed my diction as I ordered most expensive thing on the menu.
Canada Day long wkd: when the lineups to liquor stores are longer than all lineups to vote added together for last 146 years.
With my ambiguously ethnic face, I'm a one-person racist convo buzzkill.
Cashier: <booming voice> Welcome to Starbucks, what will you have?!
Me: Whatever you had, but like half.
Author of Nobody Cries at Bingo/Comedian/Columnist for Eagle Feather News. These are my real cheeks.