*looks up at sky. resets ego.*

We need more kindness. Just saying.

Just got married. Thank you all for the love, best wishes, texts, @s and DMs. We love you all and appreciate the support very very much.

A person deserves to be judged by their content and not their packaging.

I just want a girl who will scream Pantera songs while she's riding me, is that to much to ask?

Giant leaps in technology yet radio station call ins still sound like Neil Armstrong's moon landing transmission.

If life wasn't so fucking funny I would have done myself in by now.

If sharing is caring, then I should thank a lot of husbands and boyfriends for caring enough to share their wives/gfs. Thanks suckers.

When I was young I had all the answers.

I'm older now, and dammit... I seem to have forgotten where I put them.

Everything is epic nowadays. Do you know what was really fucking epic? "The Odyssey" was epic you illiterate, uneducated fucking idiots!

No crew of seaman were ever more embarrassed than those of the SS Good Ship Lollipop.

I want to learn French so I don't actually have to say something rude to be an asshole.

My imaginary butler said one of the thrusters needs tuning but Im going to take the pretend-jetpack to work anyway.

The best part of drinking every day is that you don't even give a fuck about what day it is

Crazy bores me. It's too irrational to count on having fun with. Too high maintenance for my tastes.

Mad, tho *nods* now mad I like a lot..

Determination is just mination deterrent.

Hoping I have time on my way to Florida to visit each of you personally and Stooge slap your faces.

If your children aren’t the most important thing on this planet, you have no business being alive.

I'm just traveling through time and space while sending out reverberations of my mind and hoping to get a little validation for my existence

i'm good with my knife & matches, thanks - castaway nixing a trade with the other person on the island, who brought his 10 favorite albums