My phone autocorrected "douche" to "soviet" -- complete fucking win. #soviet #Nantucket #Boop @cooterhog @meggitymak @dicemanstl @a_herold

Super stoked love and weed won and rape lost.

I totally forgot I changed my FB cover photo to one that said "EAT MOR COK" and then I stalked myself and actually LOL'd. @justasinglegirl

@dicemanstl The closed on June 40th. #duh

I love inappropriate tweets by the appropriate people. Example: @half_mex75 made me literally LOL whereas @patrickgaspard looks like a fool

Wow. Just got a $50 donation. I love you so hard, Internet. Help me watch the man I love do his dream job: http://t.co/U4rgyJO1

“@justinwoodruff: @meggitymak are you at The Max waiting for him?” #besttweetofthenight

@dicemanstl My mom once texted my brother "Good Lick Today!!" instead of good luck. Autocorrect: Making moms awkward since 2009. Haha.

Pro-Choice means I will fight for your right not to use contraception. It also means I will fight like fuck for access for other women.

For the record, grown men don't say "thingee" even when not talking about their cock.

I haaaaaaate SportsCenter. I also hate that it is one word.

@rtodaizh @chimpotle @flyingsaucerkc I do!

@jpjernigan Sorry I missed you! Damn being sick & tired. Fail! :( Let's meet up in London! S & I should be there next spring at the latest.

“@dicemanstl: I hate when that happens. RT @meggitymak: "My coat is stuck on my penises." - @dearinterwebs” On my head.

S: So they all know what "drink" means? Me: THE INTERNET KNOWS.

I would prefer to be in charge of everything.

@pmcgrew I get to go to Ellisville & Olathe, KS for you. So you know, you win.

I wish dinner would just make itself. It's so damn needy.

@threefourteen The Dubliner! Come out! @dicemanstl @jpjernigan @kristiaddis and @thewelshlobster will all be there too!

“@meggitymak: Wait, that's it? #stlwx” #thatswhatshesaid