It's like a joke format, but funny.

Has anyone considered that taste buds are actually racist?

Listen sweetie; you never meant that much to me.

It's like when you're smoking weed, and you're like: 'man, I need some more weed', so you get some more weed.

My mind carries a knife at the ready to plunge into my back.

Me: Baby, we've been together six years, you know I love you.

Her: Seven

If it keeps up, man will atrophy all his limbs but the push-button finger.

- Frank Lloyd Wright

“@yesimfinesse: This guy knows what I'm talkin bout @deftoner83” you're damn straight.

This one time, at Anarchy Camp...

Crimson and Clover

It's you and me til the end of time...

Me blazed out of my head is still thinking circles around most people.

You are the best luck I ever had.

It's like when you're famous or successful at one thing, suddenly you're an expert on all things. Douche Canoes

150 dollars a month for cable and the best days are the ones it doesn't get used

boxing > ufc

Be defiant. Be a lion. Give them a fight that will open their eyes.

It's like when girls do the model face and look like a cross eyed slut instead of a traditional slut.

This chick has the hairdo of a hoarder.

We are very close to anarchy