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When I see bands asking $6.66 for their album on bandcamp, I roll my eyes super hard while I type in my paypal password to buy their album.
Feeling self-conscious is the worst because it combines two of my least favorite things: consciousness and myself.
my ex girlfriend is telling me about her new boyfriend and im just like "i almost sent a message on okcupid last week, but then i felt sick"
I once owned a 3xl System of a Down shirt that I referred to as System of a Gown.
A drunk old man just tried to convert me over the phone. I explained my name was Christian so there was no need.
One of my coworkers asked why I am wearing only black today. It's like he's never even seen me work here every single other day.
I'm starting a website that is basically wiki leaks for coffee shop wifi passwords.
im way cooler than a lot of people. fuck off other people, im cooler than you.
today when i opened spotify it was advertising a valentines playlist and suggesting i follow my ex girlfriend, so i uninstalled spotify.
Knuckle tats: "I'M TRYING"
Sending selfies to my bank with their mobile deposit app to see if they give me money for being handsome. This is how you be a model.
Sometimes babies make weird noises like they are lifting weights when they are just sitting there. Sometimes church sounds like a baby gym.
H&M clothing? Oh my mistake, I thought you meant the genre of music, Heavy & Metal.
I woke up very bitter about mormonism today
is there a job where you just look at paintings and listen to metal? are they hiring?
I like drawing pictures and playing music
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