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I once owned a 3xl System of a Down shirt that I referred to as System of a Gown.
I'm starting a website that is basically wiki leaks for coffee shop wifi passwords.
Sending selfies to my bank with their mobile deposit app to see if they give me money for being handsome. This is how you be a model.
Sometimes babies make weird noises like they are lifting weights when they are just sitting there. Sometimes church sounds like a baby gym.
ppl keep talking about the moon like i haven't already preformed numerous sacrifices beneath its crimson radiance.
"You call that a pipe? This is not a pipe!" - Crocodile Dada
Instead of "Cards Against Humanity," they really should have called it "Assholes to Assholes."
Art is so cool you guys. I hate a lot of stuff but art is totes cool with me.
If you can't handle me at my worst (having diarrhea) then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best (when I am not having diarrhea.)
I will listen to black metal even if I am driving children to school I dont care about anything.
s/o to the sun for keeping us warm and hookin it up with two raisin scoops.
Everyone in provo better watch out! *starts melodic hardcore band*
My head has never been colder and I have never been less metal...
Life is like a box of chocolates because its not that great but you keep eating because you're bored and at the end you feel really guilty.
Being an adult is hard because you aren't supposed to cry in public I guess.
I have yet to date a girl whose hair is as long or healthy as mine. I also have yet to date a girl.