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I'm starting a website that is basically wiki leaks for coffee shop wifi passwords.
Sometimes babies make weird noises like they are lifting weights when they are just sitting there. Sometimes church sounds like a baby gym.
ppl keep talking about the moon like i haven't already preformed numerous sacrifices beneath its crimson radiance.
"You call that a pipe? This is not a pipe!" - Crocodile Dada
Instead of "Cards Against Humanity," they really should have called it "Assholes to Assholes."
If you can't handle me at my worst (having diarrhea) then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best (when I am not having diarrhea.)
I will listen to black metal even if I am driving children to school I dont care about anything.
Being an adult is hard because you aren't supposed to cry in public I guess.
I have yet to date a girl whose hair is as long or healthy as mine. I also have yet to date a girl.
Last night I realized that Arthur has had a very direct influence in my art.
I would tweet about how much I love my mom and how much everything she does means to me but she has more twitter followers than me so....
my bed is made of velcro. my body is made of also velcro
Sex ed edd n eddy
man work really took it out of me today *kicks off shoes* *takes off shirt* *paints runes on chest* *consumes crops*
I almost forgot it was my birthday, like that part in Great Gatsby where Nick Carraway is looking out the window and is like "I'm spiderman"
At the planetarium they have a kinsey scale that tells you how gay you are on different planets.
People with e-cigarettes tend to look like bad guys in a Fifth Element fan fiction.
I like my friend lynn. He's way cool and if you dont agree then you have some explaining to do, lol, but I'm sure you have your reasons.