I before E except when choosing a web browser.

Seattle, ladies and gentlemen. Seattle. RT @seattlepd: Suspicious call in Fremont now resolved. Turns out it was an "art project."

My updated 401k plan options: Conservative, Growth, Aggressive, Hyper Aggressive, Irresponsibly Aggressive, Groupon

"Maybe you should just drive, hippies." - iOS 6, to bus riders

Inception, the hippest way to teach recursion for at least the next two weeks.

@marciabbrem @matthallett @appature @kabir Thanks Marcia! You get to take some credit too :)

Just got my license scanned buying cough medicine. Also, pot is legal. #hmm

@pete_wells The second link is missing an ® on Cinnabon, obvious fake!

@seinfeldtoday George becomes paranoid after downloading a movie using BitTorrent. Kramer attempts to use an iPad as a phone.

How did I only just now realize that WA I-502 (Marijuana) is the same # as the HTTP status code for "Bad Gateway"?!

10/10 RT @moderncuisine: Just how Modernist are you? Take the @huffpotaste quiz to find out!...  http://fb.me/2fbFBFY8z 

@quintywinties Man, first dates, right?

A Halloween tribute to @macklemore and @ryanlewis at @appature pic.twitter.com/KZ9XEkTl

I'd turn on my Xbox, but I'm pretty sure you need an Xbox Live Gold subscription for that these days.

@donni or extremely terrible veterinarian

@seanblazed Can I at least have my "pick of destiny" back?

"SNOOZE?!?! DISMISS?!?! OR MAYBE YOU WANT TO DISMISS ALL?!?!" - Outlook 2013

@thefoodlab @twtrland Have you tried arranging Kraft singles on anything less?!

After detailed analysis, I've concluded that we're 47 days from an autotuned Glee cover of the FreeCreditReport dot com jingle hitting #1.

I've got hose in different area codes (I have a very long hose).