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@designbuff
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Friends: 599
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@designbuff's (Buffy Van Huis) most faved Tweets...
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Yeah say what you will about my hair, sweetheart, it looks like shit. But I can honestly say your boyfriend wasn't looking at my hair.
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designbuff
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Anyone interested in a color printer? If so, head over to my building, I'll be pitching the piece of shit out the window in like 20 seconds.
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designbuff
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OMG Note to self: That "chapstick" in your purse is a glue stick. Seriously, how have you made it this far in life?
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designbuff
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Cereal, its what's for breakfast, lunch and if you don't stop complaining, dinner.
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designbuff
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Its a good night when you come home with your panties in your purse. That is all.
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designbuff
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You've gotta love a bitch that stops in a revolving door to answer her phone and then gets pissed at you cause she got whacked by the door.
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designbuff
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Ladies, if you're gonna wear heels, you should make sure you don't sound like a galloping asshole when walking.
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If you hold your phone in front of your face to talk and then put it to your ear to hear like a tin can phone, I will stab you.
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designbuff
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This morning, I drank a cup of liquid personality, it was bitter.
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designbuff
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Death is wasted on the wrong people.
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designbuff
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If you have a dream about a shark licking you in the mouth, whatever you do, don't wake up or open your eyes. Trust me on this one.
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designbuff
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What?! No, I'm *not* nodding off at my desk, I'm um, head banging…to a ballad.
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Yeah so, I saw a woman in the bathroom blow her nose into her hands. Just add that to my list of things that I cant UNsee.
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designbuff
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There is something so empowering about taking your vitamins with beer.
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designbuff
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I wear my angst on my sleeve. Its easier than carrying your head around on a stick.
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designbuff
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4yrs married and I wouldn't change a thing…except for laundry, oh and his snoring…ooh and more diamonds, but that's it, I swear. Oh wait…
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Dear stall 3, flushing the toilet does not disguise explosive diarrhea. Thought you should know.
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Yes naked man in the window, I see you. Think for a minute *why* you'd need to jump around to get some attention. That's all I'm sayin.
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A: Stop licking me already! Q: What is the most commonly used sentence at my house and never for a good reason?
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So I'm thinking of pickling some stuff this weekend…I'll start with my liver.
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