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PLEASE DON'T POST PICTURES OF YOUR NEWBORN COVERED IN BLOOD AND MUCUS ON FACEBOOK WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WHAT THE FUCK WHY
i will never ever understand why girls stay YEARS with dudes that have cheated on them multiple times
my dad, about his new laptop: "so i could put a dvd in here." "yeah." "but not a tape." ....no, pop.
how to make people stop talking about how you beat your girlfriend: step one - don't beat your girlfriend; repeat step one
like seriously ladies get the dick. get as much dick as you want. but don't cheat or encourage cheating to get said dick. damn.
bye santorum! you piece of shit
omg the fall out boy performance on ellen is so cute
seriously no matter your feelings on the show if you have mean shit to say about cory monteith you need to duct tape your own mouth shut
new rule if i have a crush on you you have to have a crush on me back it's only polite
if you actually think the sandy hook shooting was a govt conspiracy you're fucking retarded and need your computer taken away
well except ive done nothing for the baby shower tomorrow but whatever woooo jello shots
"i get my sugar from organic raw fruits" shut the fuck up i hate you and your satisfaction with fruit sugar
hey dude that told me not to smoke because it's not sexy: i don't smoke bc i think guys think it's sexy
i wore my heart on my sleeve and you stole my fuckin' shirt (i talk about politics and sons of anarchy a lot and won't follow you back)