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dear jesus i dont pray very much but please let me pass this drug test in ur name amen
PLEASE DON'T POST PICTURES OF YOUR NEWBORN COVERED IN BLOOD AND MUCUS ON FACEBOOK WOW WOW WOW WOW WOW WHAT THE FUCK WHY
i will never ever understand why girls stay YEARS with dudes that have cheated on them multiple times
my dad, about his new laptop: "so i could put a dvd in here." "yeah." "but not a tape." ....no, pop.
how to make people stop talking about how you beat your girlfriend: step one - don't beat your girlfriend; repeat step one
like seriously ladies get the dick. get as much dick as you want. but don't cheat or encourage cheating to get said dick. damn.
bye santorum! you piece of shit
$20 tip?? don't mind if i do 💵💵💵💵
so "freelance model" means amateur pornstar i'm assuming
omg the fall out boy performance on ellen is so cute
you are, like, the michael jordan of bein' a son of a bitch (i talk about politics & tv a lot and won't follow you back) #gopackgo