@daveberry_xfm Fri: asking for payrise, Sat: looking at accounts to cut back after no payrise. Sun: starting new beans on toast lifestyle.

Thnx fitness guys who've supported me this week. @paddycunningham @amymac_bl @jamescooperpt @kevinmclernon @richcallender @charlotteord #FF

Just the one. ....#FF @directcars1 you might just need them over Christmas if you're in the Romford/Havering area

@superstills lemon, ginger & honey in hot water. Echinacea daily throughout the cold season for prevention.

I don't think I'll ever be able to fully get on with my life until I allow one of those companies to claim back my PPI.

Did he REALLY just switch my radio off while Hotel California was playing? #bringbackhangingnow

That's how its done! #TomJones #jubileeconcert

Got a whole plate full of fuck-it-that'll-do for tea.

@jamescooperpt you may be interested in my journey, if so please read my blog. I've lost over 4 stone (63lbs) so far. http://t.co/rgSoFTMH

RT @mirrorfootball: Explanation from John Terry: "It got big laughs when Basil Fawlty did it to a bloke from Barcelona..."

Tomorrow, when you come into my shop, please try to remember that I am a human being!

Taken the mother in law out tonight. All you charities can leave me alone for another month, Ive done my bit.

Finally time to relax! Already cracked open a can of Strongbow (I know, now your thinking you didnt realise I was *that* sophisticated)

Im off to lovingly prepare a large hangover which I am expecting to last me most of tomorrow.

Are you there? Feeling a little like Bruce Willis in The sixth sense today, no one is answering me :-(

I had 3 attempts at my last tweet. Twitter said "you are not authorised to perform this operation!" Its a sodding tweet not an operation!

Downloading a fitness dvd, reading Rosemary Conley magazine, pouring a large vodka and coke #WhatsWrongWithThisPicture?

Am in lovely France today. Just been to the pattisserie and bought du pain. We are now officially French.

This place would be ok if Roger didnt live here. Yeah I know its his house, so what?

I feelthe same about people who wear them in bed! RT @jazzzzzmina: I can't decide if people who (cont)  http://tl.gd/l69ikt