When in doubt, eat her out.

Women are all Jedis. We were born with the force. It's between our legs.

This ones cool http://t.co/4p7frMBA

*smacks red buzzer* WEED!!! Wait, what was the question?

#FUCKINFOLLOW @wideglide96 @cheri_bastard @chip_bastard @sickbastard3 @dr_parnassuss @discodeathstar @dirt3bird @bannontine @bighairyken

How come you can't get beer ass or beer tits? Why does it go to ur belly where u don't want it?

I'm making lasagna tonight. And fuck you, you can't have any!! :-*

Eat shit. Really, just go eat shit. Make a fucking shit sandwich and eat the bitch. And have it with a side of go fuck yourself.Your welcome

I like my man like I like my zombies. Aggressive and stiff.

#MentionSomethingAboutYourself I like smoking weed.

If I wear panties that have the days of the week on the butt, and put Saturdays on instead of Friday, it's like time traveling. In my butt.

What's green and slimey and smells like bacon? Kermits fingers

To my stoner fam Happy Stoner Sunday!!!!

Cheerleaders are strippers in training.

When I die, I want to be cremated and rolled into a big fatty with the best Weed ever. Then I want all you mother fuckers to smoke it.

Why do kids think swimming in the pool means they had a bath? Maybe if I told them I peed in it they'd think twice.

I'm HIGH. #JustSaying

Ok new followers. I tweet random. I tweet mean. If I offend, my mission is complete. Thank you for not being pussy's .

The way to a zombies heart is thru his head.

I was just being a butthead.