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Here is the best thing you'll see all day: a patient has brought me in a picture of her hamster eating spag bol. http://t.co/tqkfhpSJ
Wolverhampton! Please follow @riotcleanupwolv, and join in if you're able. Please RT. (RT is short for re-tweet, NOT riot)
@angryshopman I once laid on the floor in PC World 'cos the staff at the till spent several minutes just chatting to the customer in front.
RT @bbcnews: "TV remote control inventor Eugene Polley dies aged 96"
He's probably not dead: try rolling the batteries a few times.
@unvirtuousabbey "...and said: Over the teeth, past the gums; look out stomach: HERE IT COMES!!"
The broader issues of Lance Armstrong's cheating are being ignored. I mean, you don't see Jess Ennis or Mo Farah using BICYCLES.
The song Where Do You Go, My Lovely was written by somebody obsessed with slugs, who wonders what happens to them in winter.
Back in Jurassic times the best computer operators were the T-Rexes, because their little hands made it easy to use the keyboard and mouse.
@robmanuel Suggestion for the newsletter: whole minutes of fun finding friends' names on www.findagrave.com - see http://bit.ly/bUbDSy
Stats can't be shown as @dignut has never signed in to Favstar.