I'm having a nervous day. Actually, a nervous week. No, month. Wait, no, year. There we go; A very nervous year #panicattack

When you're all alone & there's no one beside you to cradle you to sleep, Internet will be there with open, loving arms & butts #somanybutts

I made myself eat pizza just so I could eat a bunch of ice cream without feeling bad for eating nothing but a whole lot of ice cream today.

Until then, I just feel weird/redundant telling 30 people that might already follow you & 20 porn-y spam bots to pay attention to you...

Anyone else ever woken up and wanted only to reference/wear/watch/read about Star Wars? Just me? Well, alrighty then #nerfherders

Is it just me or is bacon the only redeeming quality breakfast has?

There was a time when my thoughts did not immediately go to inanity or sexy things...But that was a dark time, long ago, before the Internet

Well yay me. My childhood dream of becoming a curmudgeon/crotchety old lady has been realized at the ripe age of 23 #getoffmynonexistantlawn

That's it for pictures tonight, folks. I hope this proved once and for all that bored white kids shouldn't be allowed to have smartphones.

If I ever get in the triple digits, all y'all that I luff in a way only the Internet could make possible, will get some name dropping action

Oh jeez, a touching moment on Everybody Loves Raymond made me cry. First Friends, now this, what next?! ..Oh my God, I'm becoming my mother.

I need to go back to school. I'm thinking Library Science since I love books & shelves more than I like or can even possibly tolerate people

I just want to sleep forever. Not in a depressed/sad way, just in a "Bed, you are so effing comfortable, I'll never leave you again" way.

I'm other news, I just woke up and I'd still like ALL the ice cream sammiches.

Tomorrow, gonna get up, shave my legs & put on Real Clothes like a Real Girl! Not gonna wake up & play XBox, unshowered in my pjs, all day.

A PSA Just For Men! Menstruation is not contagious nor is it some sort of gross disease. So... maybe you don't have to be mean about it?

Let's all hold hands and whisper lovingly to one another that "It's going to be ok" & "Your butt sure is foxy" & other nice things, okay?

Pretty sure this combo of medication makes me emotionally haphazard. I'd apologize but really how is this any different than 90% of Twitter?

I would like all of the ice cream sandwiches, please. Right now, if possible. #omnomtweets

Aw yeah, guys. I like to nerd up my sadness by quoting video game villains. Because I'm awesome (pathetic).