i just woke up, brushed my teeth, ate oatmeal and i'm about ready to take a nap already. don't let my overachieving intimidate you

whoever invented macadamia pancakes stuffed with nutella is probably my soulmate

time to give my macbook a break, i think its experiencing a hot flash

"omg osama is dead- time to change my fb status!" -everyone.

mabye i would be more efficent at consoling people during their times of greif if my first instinct wasnt googling "comforting words"

Yogurt that actually tastes like raspberry cheesecake? You lie, Yoplait. You lie.

watching 16 & pregnant sure makes me feel better about being 18 & single

A bunch of 15 year old girls are talking about "starting their diets" in Panera. You're 15, that is your diet.

facebook defriending is my spring cleaning.

out of the house by 2pm, I'm fucking ambitious today.

NYC traffic is completely nauseating. We might as well be driving to the upper east side in a horse drawn covered wagon

jack daniels is never a joking matter.

a black and white photo of you taking a picture of something else? how artistic!

let's all have a moment of silence for my GPA

stuDYING

yep, I am a horrible person for getting so much enjoyment out of this https://t.co/gFmbPbr4

"girl, I wanna respect you ALL night long"

I JUST WANT TO EAT ICE CREAM AND DIE

After 2 years of driving I've finally learned how to pump my own gas! (This shouldn't be a miniature accomplishment, but it is one)

Just saw a midget sitting poolside. I must befriend him.