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"The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine." - Abraham Lincoln
Hate is far more of a choice than homosexuality ever will be.
The shit you hear about me might be true, but then again, it could be just as fake as that person who told you!
You think you're pretty smart until you have to figure out how to turn on someone else's shower.
Before you say anything to anyone, ask yourself three questions: Is it true, is it necessary... is it kind?
No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd from the clean end.
Why does the need to pee intensify by a million when you're trying to unlock the door to your house?
That awkward moment when someone asks you what's wrong, when they're the problem.
Wine a little, you'll feel better...
I don’t have a bucket list, but my fucket list is a mile long.
Lets have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.
Nothing ruins the truth like stretching it.
Read Carefully... I GOT A dig bick. RT if ya read it wrong!
Twitter is where you can say anything you like 'cause nobody listens to you anyway.
We are the softer side of HARD.