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Sometimes a dog has perfectly floppy ears and you see god.
"You are my favorite weird couple," is a thing I just told two customers because I am a good waitress.
If I consistently pooped the way I do when hungover, I'd weigh 14 lbs.
Maybe I don't want to date. Maybe I just want one of my hot friends to fall in love with me?
Sometimes I feel like Gerard Butler isn't taking this seriously
sometimes you gotta craft with your tits out
Best part of GATSBY is the beautiful tribute to the Korine/Franco masterpiece that is the "look at all my shit" scene in SPRING BREAKERS.
truly hope everyone who decided to interview those kids gets fired
tragedy struck west 26th st today when a young lady's chicken wrap arrived without honey mustard sauce MORE AT 5
My film school education cost $200,000 and today at work all I've done so far is print out invoices for my boss' yard work.
someone in the office is singing "god loves a terrier"
Reply-all is a privilege, not a right!!
I will give you 10$ if you toss a comma up onto one of those pepsi "LIVE FOR NOW" billboards.
Operation: Find A Storm Boyfriend has failed.
Khaleasy like Sunday mornin // Aggressive Cunstitutionalist. ~malaisebian~