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show me on twitter where he unfollowed you
"61 & pregnant" would be a much better tv show
sometimes when i talk to people i say butt instead of saying but and they don't notice hahahaha idiets
#HowToGetLaid when i was a kid i was afraid of the hamburglar
Sext: you RT all my tweets. I RT all your tweets. Followers get confused. We were two. We become one.
The first time I've met my boyfriend I thought "he's small!" But then I noticed he was 1 mile away from me
It was a .gif from God
my fav sex position is the "twitter" it's basically me posting jokes on twitter and no one doing me
sext: you give me all you got. i said ALL. i want your watch too. i take everything then i kill you, i run away and your son bruce is crying
just broke up with my boyfriend via pacman highest score names
my twitter brings only me to the yard and i'm like i have no friends, damn right, i am jobless i could teach you, but i have to sleep
Uhmm sorry officer my husband is NOT a wife beater, he's a wife heater, my husband is a coat. I married a coat.
Let's have some fun this beat is sick. This beat needs to see a doc. It threw up and has diarrhea. The beat has gastroenteritis. Not fun imo
Can't wait for Kony 2013
Imagine you start fucking with a normal guy and suddenly he gets angry and becomes the Hulk when he's still inside you. You die.
When people ask me where im from i say twitter
"kiss me im irish" says bono. no one kisses him. he hugs a blow up doll and whispers "even better than the real thing"
if there were a zombie apocalypse i'd save a lot of kids but it would be only because i'd need them later to feed zombies so i can run away
Siri, are you a hater?
I am hilarious. I laugh at my own jokes.