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  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Gift @discoken Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,701
    • LIKES
    girlontapasibid78Whoopdeedoo22ICountBeanssryan_burtJojo_51213__kittenishcutieLorieGZ
    • 1,117
    • RETWEETS
    girlontapasSnarkyLemuralldrolledupmariatheanaEssenceMaxxAJSumnerrJojo_51213__kittenishcutie
    FudgeRobotdarinlovesbaconlaurascazcholesteroIBurroFumaevaheartsheartsmellimelleryaninco__pbear79ladyfiredancerEZ_GNotKarmalvvzzmarebytesPoliticallyILL1CroweJamNeutrontrilogyskitzoetteoffsidebastardskullpuppy11SnellWarrenjasonlight73_odlanyeR
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    I swear to goodness, sometimes my attention span is shorter than a gold fish crackers are delicious.

    • 563
    • LIKES
    onume_Michael_ErhartThe_Dorkster______Jojo_51213__LorieGZTwisted_MettleFudgeRobotCompocolypse
    • 365
    • RETWEETS
    favstar_historyrodtopiadd0308DominicCarney99mellimellehimanshu2904annadyer13Jenestyle
    JermHimselfishJaymayAllDayShcmoodles__ScreaminMomX2
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Single guys want to know what its like to be married? Play an episode of Rosanne at full volume and try to masturbate while crying.

    • 800
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowkanyeskunkbabygirlontapasWhoopdeedoo22ICountBeanssJojo_51213__AlexC1971kathybotteas
    • 354
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowgirlontapasJojo_51213__ElleneffjeremydrysdalerunawaycupcakeTwisted_MettleBaileysIrishTom
    llvvzzzManateeJackSarcasmo718JonJon_BrownTheTennisPhenom__MattDaddyO________DanTheSnick__kamiekaymee__jayonguitar
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Girls are the most gentle, soft, beautiful creatures that, in an instant, can turn into the scariest thing in the universe & crush ur soul.

    • 580
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowXGroverXdullbitchkrishna_vanWhoopdeedoo22Jojo_51213__LorieGZrandy_triskoth
    • 303
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowdullbitchkrishna_vaniheartweeTwisted_MettleTheButchJonesdrealangston16stoopidjohnny__
    jasonlight73Sheena_Bo_Bina
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    My aunt pulled my hair a little bit when she hugged me. Didnt know what to do so I just whispered "call me".

    • 887
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowGregHardy69girlontapasICountBeansssundressed__Jojo_51213__darinlovesbaconpamsipes
    • 301
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowdineshgada1973Mlaf2469girlontapasJojo_51213__runawaycupcakerodtopiaFunnyTunes
    Karate_HorseHairyJew4LifeKDsMorningllvvzzzIamEveryDayPplBarebakAssassin
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Is it pronounced "dragon balls" or "dragon ball z"? Either way, my ex wife is a whore.

    • 571
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowgirlontapassundressed__Jojo_51213__LorieGZTwisted_Mettleameo02ToiletMike
    • 211
    • RETWEETS
    skydoggirlontapasyummycoconutsTheButchJonesjaslakhmnamellimellelarrygoodlanderfullydelirious__
    WhatsHerFace33
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Pick a number. Add 10. Divide by 4. Take a shot. Wear a sombrero. Flash a hobo. Go fuck yourself. Merry Christmas.

    • 363
    • LIKES
    tpurvis06ShaunRightNowpainted_eelBurds_1AndrewShepard86__Jojo_51213__Twisted_MettleSCBamaMan
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowpainted_eelRobbinCarlingdrunkontheice____Jenny4ashleyderrekpcanwalkernOfficialHashtag
    omarcheerio
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Unless she's menstrating & hungry, too, in which case just kill yourself.

    • 472
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowkanyeskunkbabygirlontapasJojo_51213__Ellani_BelleTeeJayRushjoeljeffreyescoryan
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    kanyeskunkbabygirlontapasTeeJayRushrunawaycupcakeAaheltonAshleeTwisted_MettlebhaisahibIlliter8__________
    kamiekaymee__chrisanna4realDanDoofus
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Ever hated someone so much you hope they would get married?

    • 456
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowShannonRWaltonMichael_ErhartBurds_1Jojo_51213__Twisted_MettleMindBytesmahalo_nerds
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    mahalo_nerdsKarate_Horsesuburbsamquietwhispers42RidiculousSheriScottBerghornBarbaricEric1MarianneACOTA__
    aprilmccoy_kcthedayofthedotgreenhell33JaymayAllDayCroweJamjaslakhmna
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    "Let's just be friends" is just a woman's way of saying she'd rather mutilate her vagina with a waffle iron than sleep with you.

    • 462
    • LIKES
    ShackerzzzJojo_51213__AaheltonAshleeTwisted_MettleyummycoconutsamandamilfFudgeRobotCompocolypse
    • 185
    • RETWEETS
    Twisted_MettleKarate_HorseGioSayHeyfingerbangsPartlykiddingSOAP_Opera101____BamDebikinsElGachoki
    GroperClevelandjumpdashark
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Why am I the only one at the gym wearing leg warmers & a head band? Come on guys, lets get physical!

    • 578
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowWhoopdeedoo22Jojo_51213__LorieGZmads_messy18Rosie_ZadiniaTwisted_MettleLeriBeri
    • 160
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowPedroshugtauntirunawaycupcakeRosie_ZadiniaTwisted_MettleShillelagh108LianeFinlay
    cholesteroIcholesteroI_odlanyeR
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    I just yanked out a nose hair so long, it was connected to my cerebral cortex and now I can smell numbers.

    • 408
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowfancy_incognitoWICKEDTRUTH01Lin_BakerTheBarTender4utmost_failureDe_ja_vu_whoWhoopdeedoo22
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    lizaelazizaShaunRightNowWICKEDTRUTH01LeeVerlingLin_BakerDe_ja_vu_whoOutOfLeftField_SCBamaMan
    seagullski__tpurvis06Germsinlaw
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Some bad choices ive made:
    1. Shitting in a catbox
    2. Marriage
    3. Most farts
    4. Telling a friend im on twitter
    5. Masturbating in a canoe

    • 487
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowJojo_51213__hockey2mamaTwisted_MettleyummycoconutsFudgeRobotCompocolypsehamspamtymaam
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    Twisted_MettleSoulYodelerKateroark________cjcapbtlaurascazJenny4ashleyUnlucky_Ninjajergarl
    jjwhalesweinerdog4lifeLisabug74karencreets______
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    This might be a new way of doing math, but the square root of eat shit is go fuck yourself.

    • 412
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowFeenohmenalTw0PennethTwisted_MettleyummycoconutsFudgeRobotCompocolypseMindBytes
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowTw0PennethIlliter8__________avinashnaykodiHuajatollaChicaprilmccoy_kccmu_99mwahjties
    Carter_TCBjustaddalcohoISaucy_Mom________
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    I'll bet you a Gucci bag full of your moms dildos I have absolutely no idea where this fucking tweet was going.

    • 401
    • LIKES
    AudreyPorneShaunRightNowWhoopdeedoo22Twisted_MettleyummycoconutsFudgeRobotCompocolypseMindBytes
    • 124
    • RETWEETS
    ShaunRightNowScigglez__________cjcapbtMoeDutch_WestBearslietoo______ZepsBlackDog42headedtospaceGeminiJew__
    KDsMorning
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    I try to live by two rules.
    1. Dont make fun of stupid people (they cant help it)
    2. Dont be stupid (people will make fun of you)

    • 239
    • LIKES
    cjcapbtCompocolypsehamspamtymaamMindBytesLuisXavierkendalltwerkSCBamaMan101Racey
    • 112
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    cjcapbtItsBailey1692SCBamaManbulbs71TylerLinkinTioughnioga______LaniBenobradthebuilder____
    circlejokes
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Scares the shit out of blind people when you power wash them.

    • 224
    • LIKES
    SilleViocjcapbtBraxtonB_Farmsjojo220204TinMan_2009____419BillEAshTheCanuckFatuousFloozy__
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    cjcapbtBraxtonB_Farmsjojo220204TinMan_2009_____coursouvraFatuousFloozy__ramyaly94__Flourgirl81
    weinerdog4lifeLaniBenoninatreemonkey
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Don't talk to me about embarrassment until you scream like a girl and shit yourself at a petting zoo.

    • 344
    • LIKES
    ShaunRightNowBurds_1WhoPhardtedaprilmccoy_kcODeadInside1kwordsworth____ericsshadowgerry_roule
    • 104
    • RETWEETS
    WhoPhardtedaprilmccoy_kc1kwordsworth____ThatDangWolf__Swati_Fiercefavstar_historyTwisted_Mettlecraigclaytonsea
    DanDoofus
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    "Im not going to take this shit lying down"- weird way to announce a bowel movement.

    • 261
    • LIKES
    ibid78Northside_MikecjcapbtBigBec43onelongbender__BooktheFlightdanjan13eric10F
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    Northside_Mikeeric10FThatllbegootstrongcatfu__Favstar250PipersPapersCompocolypsemahalo_nerds
    CelebrityChezTeflonPawnXalqeejumpdashark
  • discoken
      DiscoKen™ @discoken

    Accidentally picked up a can of "Kiss ass" instead of "whoop ass" but let me tell you this, you guys are all fucking beautiful & hilarious.

    • 280
    • LIKES
    SeeEllVeecuriousteejrunawaycupcakeqqnquiJulia_MouseymllebeckyrosepowerfulshampooAnschlitz
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    Angelmansffinancechargepowerfulshampooeric10Fgrown_weary______red_panamaJaeMar68cjcapbt
    teddywah

DiscoKen™’s Best Tweets (By Retweets)

@discoken

@discoken

Not a safe alternative to cigarettes

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