Some girls here who think Rahul Gandhi should become our PM because he is hot, India ki kasam #AapChutiyeHain

The amount of times I've had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.

Only horses have stable relationships.

What is unique abt India? Its borders are easier to cross than its roads.

Banta: Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra?
Santa: When you take it off, you wonder where the breasts vanished.

Let's convert our potential energy into kinetic energy #EngineersPickUpLines #read

He is just not that into you. Then, use a lubricant.

There's a fine line between a numerator and a denominator.

Haha pic.twitter.com/TpphjQOa

#NamesInYourPhone Nobody (it says Nobody Calling)

#LeakedDMs I have a long d**k TOH KYA USPE KAPDE LATKAU *blocks*

Dear Government, My middle finger gets a boner whenever I think of you.

The number of times I clean my touchscreen feels like am giving my phone a handjob.

Safe Sex pic.twitter.com/n6MySthB

Can I read your T-shirt in braille? #UnusedPickupLines

Khichik............Pok *twitter for android sound while pulling down to refresh*

How can you tell if a man is a Male Chauvinist Pig?
He thinks 'harass' is two words.

3.14% of snakes are Pi thons.

A rabbi, a priest, and a bishop walk into a bar.

The bartender says,"What is this, some kind of joke?"

I am tweeting and eating. I am Tweating.