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Very seriously considering letting the cat starve so I can go & watch The Avengers again.
I want to be the cause of your mental breakdown.
Shut up and eat cheese.
You had me at "stupid"
#thatawkwardmoment when your so worried about your underwear matching you don't realise your purple bra can be seen through your dress #FAIL
Soup of the day: The tears of my enemies
My husband won't let me dress the cat in bread. He's such a killjoy.
I am going to massively over think this situation, until I wish I hadn't. Then I'm gonna get drunk.
I am fairly confident that I thoroughly deserve this hangover.
No woman will ever be satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that shoots out money #endoffact
You are what you tweet.
There's a good possibility my insides are trying to claw their way out.
If it isn't broken, fix it before it is.
Vodka slush puppies by the poolside :)
Oh no, did I miss the football? Gutted. Never mind, at least I got to see The Avengers again :)
I like the bit where you shut up.
Hate me all you like, it's not going to change the fact I don't like 'The Goonies'.
A magnetic screwdriver will be your best friend, if you let it.