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I'm in the travelling crèche for out of control preschoolers and their gobby mums. In other words, I'm on a #FirstBus to #DoncasterIsGreat
Didn't Labour want uncle Vince ousted for proposing what they now scream for? #NOTW #HoC
Sometimes I forget how good a singer Bob Geldof was. Then I watch #TOTP and remember he wasn't.
I don't think everyone understood that tonight's theme was Heroes. #XFactor
Can I have some more onions? No, that's shallot! #CDWM
You know labour are sinking low when they champion statements by Nadine Dorries. #BBCAQ
Britain's hidden alcoholics: they're not that we'll hidden #Panorama just look for them on trains, buses and parks.
My brolly has gone and bent in half. That'll be those #DoncasterIsGreat 30+ MPH gusts.
Dad of one. Husband of none. Lover of many.. The last one may be a lie.