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Keeping my 4 yr old niece relevant by teaching her "The Macarena"
The reverse camera on my phone gave me worse self-esteem than 10th grade did
Do you realize how disgustingly you can eat a sandwich if you aren't dating anyone...
The man who flour-bombs a Kardashian is arrested while Trayvon's killer is probably eating a sandwich. #USA
I feel like HBO's Behind the Candelabra is gonna give me LIFE I didn't know I had
Mom text: Your Facebook profile scary today.
*forces niece to watch 1997 brandy/whitney version of cinderella*
What you may not realize is that when I say I had pizza for lunch, I mean *a* pizza.
The Jaws theme cut off: best joke so far.
I think those nachos I just microwaved went on my permanent record
Paul Ryan looks like someone I would accidentally make out with