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#ThingsNotToDoAtChristmasParty <-- First of all, you guys are already drunk, cuz you're missing "a" in there.
Sex would be #BetterWithConfetti. "I came!" *throws confetti*
#BestSpongebobQuotes "A stove, is a stove, no matter where you go, a patty is a patty, that's what I saaaaaay..."
"If I ask you to wipe out a village, you say 'how high?'." #Suits
If one more person asks me to turn water into wine, I swear to Dad... #jesustweet
"BOOM! I'M EATIN' YOUR GRAPES, BRO. THESE GRAPES ARE DELICIOUS." "What the fuck is wrong with you?" "Oh, so much." #ImpracticalJokers
"Why is Sex Fun"? What kind of fucking stupid question is that?
"This car is Fi's baby, if we wreck it, she's gonna be PISSED." LOL, aww, Sam cares. XD #BurnNotice
If they shut down Twitter, I'll just walk around, shouting my tweets at people on the street.
Chocolate. I love you so much, I want to fuck you. Transform into a person so I can do that.
Solid Snaking (v.) - to repeat info you were just given in the form of a question. Ex.: "If it weren't for the revolution..." "Revolution?"
The gun smoldered. He walked away. #6wordstories
#IStoppedBelievingInSantaWhen I was three years old, and I wanted an Oscar Meyer weenie whistle. Christmas came...no weenie whistle.
Twitter: turning mental anguish into jokes and good company.
Author of #DeadInside. Screenwriter. Card Dealer. Madly In Love. Michael Crichton Idolizer. Silent Hill/2BFs Nut. Tattoo Fan. Gamer. Singer. Atheist. Miranda.
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