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@donchiefnerd's (Don Henry) recently faved Tweets...
donchiefnerd
My upstairs neighbor's stomping morning exercise routine seems very healthy for him. He has the reddest blood I have ever seen.
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
JUST IN: The sun came out and dried up all the rain. No sign of Itsy. Spider family worried. Details at noon.
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
THERE'S ALMOND MILK?

I didn't even know they had nipples.
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
@coreyhinds Phew! So I can still warm up my cup of gasoline in there?
@donchiefnerd in reply to coreyhinds
3
paul_shinnblobertbehindyourback
donchiefnerd
I came.
I saw.
I…

Oh, shit! Does anyone know how to remove semen from woodworking tools?
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
Nachos for breakfast. My happy place is real. IT'S REAL!
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
I know I've had enough to drink when I suddenly know everyone's middle name and it's "Motherfucking."
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
Daily, as I leave, my wife tells me to "have fun storming the castle." I don't have the heart to tell her I'm only a software engineer.
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
My first Twitter Oscars. Freakin' incredible company. I mean it. Thank you!
@donchiefnerd
6
factualfictionMela_Detopnotchtutorblobertnavanaxbadkitty_
donchiefnerd
WAIT. Who will win Miss Congeniality now? #oscars
@donchiefnerd
10
StereoForBrainsanonygirlfactualfictionessentially_metherealcherilyniamjustcaraCranberryPersonafoolishwitblondediva11CampNicole
donchiefnerd
I went to an Oscars show and a ballet broke out.
@donchiefnerd
12
TymethiefgrossefemmenavanaxblankslateJohn_M15badkitty_blondediva11desirousgoddesskellydealcalifmomessentially_menonahs
donchiefnerd
@badkitty_ I sooo starred that. Instantly!
@donchiefnerd in reply to badkitty_
1
navanax
donchiefnerd
Duck, Ducky! #oscars
@donchiefnerd
1
cloudya01
donchiefnerd
Did a NASCAR driver just win an Oscar? #oscars
@donchiefnerd
3
yuckyduckySexyInsomniacCynthiaY29
donchiefnerd
NPH! FTW! #oscars
@donchiefnerd
1
StereoForBrains
donchiefnerd
Rather large and moderately aggressive cichlids. #oscars
@donchiefnerd
3
ImAwake2Beef_Tonguenavanax
donchiefnerd
@beep Gee, thanks. (Erasing Railroad Pension tweet from Birdhouse.)
@donchiefnerd in reply to beep
1
jsttmfb
donchiefnerd
It's noon on a Sunday and I'm eating my favorite cereal. "Life, or lack thereof."
@donchiefnerd
donchiefnerd
Patiently waiting to make this left turn, fellow motorists honking behind me, my one thought: Calgon take me away! To a gun shop.
@donchiefnerd
9
davio1962navanaxImAwake2hacopianheregunthergreenroughdictionTeleholicGirlbec1302CaryJCookRN
donchiefnerd
I just burped and it smells like cat food. Not like food FOR cats; like food MADE FROM cats.
@donchiefnerd
15
paul_e_wogcravenheartJohn_M15davio1962TristanstoesgothscifigirlangryoldcootGorillaSushiessentially_metalks_in_mathsyodelmachineblondediva11navanaxKwazydogYidago
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