Your boob avatar looks really good next to that Bible quote in your bio, boo.

my dick look like a fucked up broccoli, 1 like = 1 respect

I need an app that tells me which one of my friends or family members are awake and can't sleep most likely due to coffee & stress.

I spend most of this time of day holding my pee and avoiding eye contact with my dog who is also holding his pee.

You know you teach in the Bronx when even your teacher's edition textbooks have dicks drawn all up in them.

talk to cute friends

The people who follow then unfollow you if you don't follow back within an hour are the same people who have sex once and go to sleep.

OH YAY THREE HOURS OF SLEEP EXACTLY HOW LONG I WANTED TO SLEEP

#goo#dnight # ilovehashtags #sorrynot,sorry

thats the moon

(

Gonna be a total fucking badass and RT things that ARE endorsements.

surgically attach me to the ocean

@donni wowe that is some forest puppe's

@jnglwzrd raccoon is dog for rapscallions & troublemakers

kangaros is the stramgest dog

How the hell does anyone fall asleep before 3AM? I better think this one over with a hot cup of 2:30AM coffee.

Star my tweets, Keating.

i like night twitter cause i can do whatever i want. as opposed to day twitter when i do whatever i want

jeff goldblum, moth jeff goldblum and turtle shell jeff goldblum team up to take down mecha jeff goldblum and ape jeff goldblum