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The first man cave was a cave.
for the entire last year of his presidency, obama should smoke cuban cigars on tv & take live calls from the viewing audience & cuss a lot.
If ANYTHING can melt the winter tundra that's become our reality, it's Carly Rae Jepsen's new song and we all know it.
it's Monday/it's been a weird weekend/I am spending this week remembering why it's great to be alive & why I am good enough/help appreciated
One day you'll get yours, gang. And I'll be dancing in the streets.
Ready for another week of flying under the radar!
Beats by Dre is cool. But have you heard of Beets by God? I'm Kirk Cameron here to tell you about the most fire salad ingredient of the year
Hey PA drivers, can you remove the ice off of the top of your car so you don't Final Destination me on my way to work?
[pays women to drive by and shout DILF at me while on a date]
Oh what! What did they say? DILF? What does that even mean? that's crazy...
how is it already moarch 2st
Remember when people used to angrily buy followers for their enemies? Man, we’ve lived through some tough times.
Yesterday my daughter saw panty hose at Target and asked me what they were for. I was at a loss to come up with a reason.
🙈 is a troublemaker and he knows it
It's crazy how few actual businesses have jingles as catchy as the Ghostbusters.
If you sneeze directly after applying mascara you're legally allowed to go back to bed.
Changing up my IPhone swipe technique to something cuter. Trying out a downward curled middle finger. Excited.
It's going to be a good week, Guys. We're all going to make it.
For every life lost to smooth jazz, how many lives has it really saved?
My name is Donni Saphire. I do standup in dark bars and basements. I have a podcast called Mistakes. I have a walrus. Like me now before I get too popular
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