OH: "steampunk is merely goth with a watch hot-glued to your hat."

http://isthereasportstoday.com/

1 new message: "hey how's inbox zero treating you" DIE IN A FIRE

A dear-friend-who-shall-remain-nameless thinks I should get knuckle tattoos spelling 'CapsLock'. Dear Lazyweb: GOOD idea or GREAT idea?

OH: "Not being on facebook is the new not owning a television."

OH: "the fancy is coming from INSIDE THE PANTS"

TextEdit keeps autocorrecting "cronjobs" to "corndogs". I'd be angry, except now I'm too hungry to stay mad.

After a half hour or so of careful observation, I'm become convinced that my roomba has achieved sentience. Social skills, not so much.

HAPPY INTERNATIONAL CAPSLOCK DAY INTERNET YOU SHOULD BE TYPING LOUDER NO REALLY LOUDER THAN THAT C'MON LET'S DO THIS YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAH

@arletterocks seriously I cannot think of a firstier first world problem then "only 50% of my Macs have been delivered"

I've finished all the laundry, the dishes, the bills; what else do I have to do to atone for finding a Frito under my pillow this morning?

Bourbon at the hotel bar, midget fights, and gorgeous women feeding me bone marrow. #BESTBIRTHDAY

I *really* don't need an 8-foot stuffed moose in my apartment. (I'm just going to hide under my desk and repeat this until the ad expires.)

Oh come on, "does the campground have wifi" isn't *that* stupid of a question.

It's been one of those "Oh, I forgot to eat food" days. Let's see if I can compound my fail with something truly... OH HEY CHURCH'S CHICKEN

I am about to rock the nap so hard, it will be Nap Hard 2: With a Vengeance. Seriously. Soundtrack by Pantera, played EXTREMELY QUIETLY

In honor of your sportsball and the glorious victory of the team to which you are most geographically proximal: http://t.co/SQ5E484i UPDATE!

I JUST GOT 8-BIT RICK-ROLLED. GODDAMNIT.

INSTALLING CENTOS IN VMVC ON WINDOWS 2003 VIA REMOTE DESKTOP ON WINDOWS 7 ON VMWARE FUSION ON OSX ON A BED OF NAILS IN A LAKE OF FIRE

The odds of my making it to Monday without ending up drunk in an IKEA are only getting worse as the day unfolds.