@dorsalstream's (RM) most faved Tweets...
Each day is like a gift.
A gift from someone who doesn't know your size and doesn't bother to include the receipt.
A gift from someone who doesn't know your size and doesn't bother to include the receipt.
Obama won the Nobel Peace prize, but we bombed the moon and golf is now an Olympic sport. So it's been a mixed day overall for white people.
My wife disapproves of me yelling "ICEBERG, DEAD AHEAD" when we're buying lettuce because of the titanic stupidity.
My kids spent 30 min this morning watching stuffed animals in the washing machine.
Their college funds will make for one helluva party.
Their college funds will make for one helluva party.
I honestly dreamt last night that I had nearly $6 worth of quarters in my pocket and was not, in fact, happy to see anyone.
Vampires must have a terrible carbon footprint—always up at night with the lights on. And the living forever.
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I used to get up early, do sets of pushups, and write in the quiet in the morning.
That was the toughest Wednesday I've ever had.
That was the toughest Wednesday I've ever had.
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Just resisted live tweeting my pork evacuation.
Also just resisted adding "if you know what I mean."
Also just resisted adding "if you know what I mean."
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Been watching so much U.S. Open that when my kids drop a grape, I dive for it.
That last one was totally out.
That last one was totally out.
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