Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 369
Followers: 385
Favs Given: 4,753
Favs Rec'd: 1,127
@doublejack's most faved Tweets...
doublejack
Sweet. Apparently a Nigerian prince got my Google Wave invite by mistake, but he knows a way he can send it straight to my PayPal account.
@doublejack
doublejack
I just can't write a mean-spirited tweet acting all happy about Dick Cheney being hospitalized. I'm too busy praying for his death.
@doublejack
doublejack
This job needs more salary.
@doublejack
16
everydaydudeladymisskatemarleymarleyivegotzoomscloudeeuhSpinchange_smashedpotatoesjoeschmittgunthergreenMrBigFistscleapowJorgasmic1tammyphinneyhas2b_christyvMonkeytonenewshurtling
doublejack
Say Tablet again! Say Tablet again, I dare you! I double dare you, motherfucker! Say Tablet one more goddamn time!
@doublejack
14
luckyshirtjimraythestoryofblefauxfrogjollilamalizinlaphillygirlPedro_DeniroOneSmallFirelagonkcovertheeartheverydaydudetammyphinneyMonkeytonenews
doublejack
I've decided I'm going to donate all my future food babies to the anti-abortion folks.
@doublejack
12
sokerispdracerxrbokLilykilyeverydaydudemarleymarleysmashedpotatoesjoeschmittMODATcleapowtammyphinneyMonkeytonenews
doublejack
At Macworld wishing I had a camera and a manservant and a million dollars and three more wishes.
@doublejack
11
everydaydudeKuraFireDexter_ColtrsmallbonemarleymarleylefauxfrogOneSmallFiresummersumzanonygirleugemMonkeytonenews
doublejack
This sober needs more drunk.
@doublejack
11
DieLaughingrinaedinTymethieflizinlacovertheearthcleapowsummersumzlagonktammyphinneyMonkeytonenewshurtling
doublejack
DANGER: MAXIMUM SAFE BURRITO CAPACITY EXCEEDED. PLEASE PROCEED IMMEDIATELY TO THE NEAREST NAP. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
@doublejack
11
GPappalardodavidseymourtwitlesseverydaydudemarleymarleyImAVeronicacleapowtammyphinneyhas2b_christyvMonkeytonenewshurtling
doublejack
I wish this abyss would stop gazing into me.
@doublejack
11
GPappalardolinajkmarleymarleyanonygirlbnlandrysmashedpotatoesgunthergreenMrBigFistsJorgasmic1Monkeytonenewshurtling
doublejack
So as you can see, I've cleverly trained my cat to do whatever he wants.
@doublejack
10
Nicky36smashedpotatoesivegotzoomsdonchiefnerdidvssuperegogravymonkeytammyphinneyhas2b_christyvMonkeytonenewshurtling
doublejack
Don't you hate when you get to the end of a good article online and accidentally start reading the comments?
@doublejack
9
brienisharratonOneSmallFirelefauxfrogDexter_ColtsummersumzlagonkMonkeytonenewscleapow
doublejack
I'm sorry, "bed head" sounds pretty good to me.
@doublejack
9
summersumzspdracerxsista_flapjack74ina66yodelmachineInSoOutSotammyphinneyhas2b_christyvMonkeytonenews
doublejack
Alcohol is a dick.
@doublejack
9
giromidesokeridanaynaycleapowthe_dzalizinlaYayaatammyphinneyMonkeytonenews
doublejack
If I visit the restroom and touch only my own zipper and penis, I skip the hand washing. I know where it's been, and I keep a clean penis.
@doublejack
9
onefootnthgravesmashedpotatoescrazycoloursnhmagpiegunthergreenMrBigFistscleapowtammyphinneyMonkeytonenews
doublejack
Caught in a downpur, taking shelter in an isolated men's room under a No Loitering sign hoping my pose says No Sodomy. You?.
@doublejack
8
GPappalardokaffeinemeDieLaughinglefauxfrogeverydaydudecleapowivegotzoomsMonkeytonenews
doublejack
Accesssory idea: iPad mount for your Segway. DOOSH!
@doublejack
8
spdracerxabbyjayeenricolimcacosokeriSilkPillowcovertheearthMonkeytonenewstammyphinney
doublejack
Non sequitur? I hardly equator.
@doublejack
8
spdracerxLilykilymarleymarleyTrick_or_tweetshakin_atomssmashedpotatoesMrBigFiststammyphinney
doublejack
How lazy am I? I'm so lazy
@doublejack
8
spdracerxlinajkmarleymarleyshakin_atomssmashedpotatoesgunthergreenMrBigFiststammyphinney
doublejack
Twitter used to be where I'd commiserate with folks I barely know about life's little annoyances but now one of them follows me.
@doublejack
7
KuraFiresummersumzladymisskateyodelmachineharratonOneSmallFireMonkeytonenews
doublejack
See, Arabs all be flying planes into buildings like *this*, but white folks fly their planes into buildings like *this*.
@doublejack
7
GPappalardooldblinddeadjimlefauxfrogOneSmallFirenisibSeoulBrotherMonkeytonenews
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